OK, it's 2014, and we've all made those pesky resolutions. Yeah, we've decided to get in shape, stop doing this or that, make sure we do other things, etc. We've all done it a little, at least in our heads, if not on paper or digitally. We look back at our failures of the last year and see where and how we want to make a change in our lives, and make plans. Oh, we love to plan. We're REALLY good at laying plans, as a matter of fact. We're SO good at it, we tend to do a lot of planning, and put off actualizing those changes until "THE PLAN" is in place. Then it's too late, and we discover that there is no way we can live up to our plan, because we've gone and planned too big. So we revise the plan. We make it smaller and smaller and smaller until the net change is...minimal, at best. We often get disheartened by this.
I was reminded of something yesterday, though, that might be a good reminder for us all: Take time for ME. It's something I've known for a while: that if I do not take time to do the things I want to do - whether time in my workshop, time spent writing, riding my bike, or whatever else there may be - I become less happy. It takes a lot of time for it to happen, but here's how it works: it starts with a little thing here and there. "Sure, I don't need to do that today, I can do something for someone else." And before you know it, there's all sorts of time lost, one hour at a clip. And each and every time, it's a decision that I've made. It's my fault, no question. It's not a fault to be generous with my time to others - that's a good quality, in fact. No, the fault is that I do not take the time to be generous to myself in the same manner in which I am generous to others.
Of course, I'm not saying that we should strive to take care of good old #1 before anything else, but in my case, it's important to remember that if there is no maintenance done for A#1, top of the list, king of the hill, ME, then I'm going to run out of steam and grow hollow inside. I've been there before, and frankly, it's not a fun place to be. When you're hollow inside, life stinks.
So what changes can I make to accomplish this self-maintenance thing? Particularly in a year where my fiancee and I are planning a wedding, it's going to be difficult, but I think I'm up for the challenge. So here it is: my New year's resolutions for 2014:
1) Pray more. Meditation/prayer/quiet time are good for reflecting, for being honest with yourself, and for centering/focusing on the important things.
2) Write more. Along the same lines as praying, writing is an outlet. It's good to give that voice inside a chance to talk.
3) MS-150...I missed doing it last year, and while I had other things happening, it would be good to get back into the swing of this. It also is good for clearing the head.
4) More workshop time. This is a must, for many reasons.
That's it. those are the four changes I need to make. Of course, it means some sacrifices in other areas of life, but that's ok. I expect that there will still be times when I put off some of these to do things with/for others. But I also need to get better at remembering to take the time for ME. Because if I'm not in good shape, I won't be able to do things for others at all.
So what do you need to do for YOU to make life better in 2014?
Thanks for Reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Friday, December 6, 2013
"Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens..."
OH, last night was it - the live showing of "The Sound of Music" starring Carrie Underwood and a few other famous names, almost all of which I've never heard of. But, as many of my well-informed friends have heard of them, I'm going to call them famous. It should be noted that this was a live airing of the BROADWAY version, not the HOLLYWOOD version. What?? You didn't know that it was a stage play before the film version starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer???? If you didn't and you are over the age of 17, you have failed/been failed by your education.
Now, there are several camps that people have been ideologically divided into on this:
Camp 1: The HOW DARE YOU EVER DO ANYTHING AGAINST JULIE ANDREWS Camp. Now, I'm not going to dis the GREAT (and she IS great) Ms. Andrews. I think she's awesome, personally, and her performance in the film was just marvy. But let's be a little real: there are high schools that do this production every year, and they are not doing anything "against" Ms. Andrews. They are aspiring to something greater than what they were....that's all.
Camp 2: BUT IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FILM AND WASN'T AS BELIEVABLE. You - shut up. Now. It's called "willful suspension of disbelief." We KNOW the entire country of Austria isn't on stage. The Alps are still where they were, in Europe. If you can't have a little imagination, you should really never be allowed to look at a television or movie screen again.
Camp 3: IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!! Thank you for letting us understand your complete lack of experience.
Camp 4: EVERYTHING NOT THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION SUCKS!!! You are an elitist snob. Your attitude wouldn't bother me if Rogers and Hammerstein didn't re-write the show for the movies, but they did, and THEY liked it better. You didn't write either rendition, so you don't get a vote. You can have your preferences, but please, don't trod on anyone else's.
Camp 5: YOU CAN'T RE-MAKE A CLASSIC!!! You....actually have a point, but there are limits. You can re-make a classic, and while it will never be the same performance, it can have equally good things in it. You don't have to like it. For example, there have been at least three renditions of "Miracle on 34th Street" done - and I'm sure there are others that I just don't care to research. I'm partial to the original, and prefer it in black and white - but that doesn't make the colorized version, or the last version that was in theatres, bad. It just makes them a little different. Please, pick your fave and enjoy it.
BUT, you camp 5-ers - you have a point on re-making that which was close to perfection in the first place. Why do over what was done so well?? So, I have created the Fat Kid Laws of Entertainment!!!!
FAT KID LAWS OF ENTERTAINMENT:
1) Other people's pain is hilarious. Why? Because it's not you, but you will gladly watch someone else get knocked in the groin, the head, etc. Humans are kinda sick that way. But, it sells, and we're always happy to watch that slow-motion sequence at the end of Die Hard where Hans (Alan Rickman) falls to his death.
2) Video Games should remain where they are. I know - this one's going to tick a lot of people off, but at this point, video games have progressed to the point where they are really more like films themselves - it's no longer a viable thing to make a game into a movie. That ship has sailed. Time to stop that.
3) Films should be made to tell stories, not fill timeslots. If you can't fill 120 minutes (that's two hours) of FILM time (not including previews, etc) then it doesn't belong in a theatre. 90 minutes = a two hour time slot on TV with commercials. Exceptions exist here for kids' movies and documentaries, but in general, if it's not 120 minutes (and even here, there's some leeway for "close enough") it shouldn't be made into a feature movie. You simply can't tell a good story in less time. And seriously - we pay enough for tickets, popcorn, etc - we should get 2 hours of film time, minimum. Oh, and if you CAN'T fill up a 2-hour timeframe...then it's probably not a good story for film, anyway.
4) The re-make. No film shall be re-made until everyone who had a lead role in the previous version is dead. Yeah, I'm looking at you, makers of the latest "Footloose." Not cool. I believe that when you constantly re-make stuff like this, we lose more than we create. Yes, the original "Footloose" was a veritable treasure-trove of 80s awesomeness. Now - OK - there's some of that stuff we SHOULD be forgetting on purpose, but there are also a lot of things that we should remember, too. Film is a part of our historical social record. They can't learn about the 80s, it's good parts and its bad parts, if they don't encounter the 80s. Now, go ahead and steal the plots (James Cameron stole "Dances With Wolves" for "Avatar" and it mostly worked) but NO REMAKING UNTIL THE LEADS HAVE PERISHED.
5) Superhero movies. I like these, I really do, and there are some really kick-ass stories that go along with these characters. There are also a LOT of challenges. Superhero films almost always fall victim to the time-allotment rule already addressed. More minutes of film to truly get into the psyche of the hero will solve a good portion of the problems most off these movies encounter. And, let's face it - a lot of the villains are rather cardboard - they always were. The biggest thing about superhero movies: don't skip the story. Take your time to tell it properly. Spend the money. You might not get it all back immediately, but you will produce better film, not just some pocket-lining film.
6) Books into movies. There's a general rule to follow here. I think it's something like 150 pages = 1 hour of film time - or something like that. It might even be steeper than that, like 200 pages or something. whatever it is....STICK to it. It might take 5 pages to describe a thing on paper and an instant in visual time - but let's face it, the panoramic views of cameras/ different angles that can be shot, the looks on the faces of the main character and the opposite of the scene, etc...it's not a problem. If you can't get a book into a two-hour movie, again, there's something wrong. Vice versa, if you have to break up a book into several movies, there might also be something wrong. There are always exceptions to the rule, again, but as a general rule, this stands. And for all the haters out there, yes, I'm looking at Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" on this one (Even though I thoroughly enjoy his stuff - including The Hobbit" - I would probably rather have seen one 4.5 hour film than three different films.)
7) "Based on a true story." No. Just tell us the story, stop taking "dramatic license" I know, it's not half as fun, but please, if it was only one play on a football field, don't make a whole season out of it, ok?
8) "This was a great play." Then please...leave it as such. It works as a play because a play has a unique audience, being live. A film audience can't interact with the film in the same way a theatre audience interacts with a play...the energy back and forth just isn't there. Just because it's a great play doesn't mean it will make a great film - and not everything needs to be made into a film.
9) "That was a great movie!" I'm looking at Disney and Dreamworks here. You make some fascinating films, you really do. But seriously?? It doesn't need to be made into a musical. Or a stage play. Or anything else. it's JUST a movie. Often, based on a fairy tale. Don't do this. Please. It's just wrong. You don't own these stories. Let them go.
10) "Reality TV" No. Stop. It was a horrible idea. Seriously - it's The Hunger Games, and you're not on Katniss's side. You're the Empire...and not the good parts of it.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Now, there are several camps that people have been ideologically divided into on this:
Camp 1: The HOW DARE YOU EVER DO ANYTHING AGAINST JULIE ANDREWS Camp. Now, I'm not going to dis the GREAT (and she IS great) Ms. Andrews. I think she's awesome, personally, and her performance in the film was just marvy. But let's be a little real: there are high schools that do this production every year, and they are not doing anything "against" Ms. Andrews. They are aspiring to something greater than what they were....that's all.
Camp 2: BUT IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FILM AND WASN'T AS BELIEVABLE. You - shut up. Now. It's called "willful suspension of disbelief." We KNOW the entire country of Austria isn't on stage. The Alps are still where they were, in Europe. If you can't have a little imagination, you should really never be allowed to look at a television or movie screen again.
Camp 3: IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!! Thank you for letting us understand your complete lack of experience.
Camp 4: EVERYTHING NOT THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION SUCKS!!! You are an elitist snob. Your attitude wouldn't bother me if Rogers and Hammerstein didn't re-write the show for the movies, but they did, and THEY liked it better. You didn't write either rendition, so you don't get a vote. You can have your preferences, but please, don't trod on anyone else's.
Camp 5: YOU CAN'T RE-MAKE A CLASSIC!!! You....actually have a point, but there are limits. You can re-make a classic, and while it will never be the same performance, it can have equally good things in it. You don't have to like it. For example, there have been at least three renditions of "Miracle on 34th Street" done - and I'm sure there are others that I just don't care to research. I'm partial to the original, and prefer it in black and white - but that doesn't make the colorized version, or the last version that was in theatres, bad. It just makes them a little different. Please, pick your fave and enjoy it.
BUT, you camp 5-ers - you have a point on re-making that which was close to perfection in the first place. Why do over what was done so well?? So, I have created the Fat Kid Laws of Entertainment!!!!
FAT KID LAWS OF ENTERTAINMENT:
1) Other people's pain is hilarious. Why? Because it's not you, but you will gladly watch someone else get knocked in the groin, the head, etc. Humans are kinda sick that way. But, it sells, and we're always happy to watch that slow-motion sequence at the end of Die Hard where Hans (Alan Rickman) falls to his death.
2) Video Games should remain where they are. I know - this one's going to tick a lot of people off, but at this point, video games have progressed to the point where they are really more like films themselves - it's no longer a viable thing to make a game into a movie. That ship has sailed. Time to stop that.
3) Films should be made to tell stories, not fill timeslots. If you can't fill 120 minutes (that's two hours) of FILM time (not including previews, etc) then it doesn't belong in a theatre. 90 minutes = a two hour time slot on TV with commercials. Exceptions exist here for kids' movies and documentaries, but in general, if it's not 120 minutes (and even here, there's some leeway for "close enough") it shouldn't be made into a feature movie. You simply can't tell a good story in less time. And seriously - we pay enough for tickets, popcorn, etc - we should get 2 hours of film time, minimum. Oh, and if you CAN'T fill up a 2-hour timeframe...then it's probably not a good story for film, anyway.
4) The re-make. No film shall be re-made until everyone who had a lead role in the previous version is dead. Yeah, I'm looking at you, makers of the latest "Footloose." Not cool. I believe that when you constantly re-make stuff like this, we lose more than we create. Yes, the original "Footloose" was a veritable treasure-trove of 80s awesomeness. Now - OK - there's some of that stuff we SHOULD be forgetting on purpose, but there are also a lot of things that we should remember, too. Film is a part of our historical social record. They can't learn about the 80s, it's good parts and its bad parts, if they don't encounter the 80s. Now, go ahead and steal the plots (James Cameron stole "Dances With Wolves" for "Avatar" and it mostly worked) but NO REMAKING UNTIL THE LEADS HAVE PERISHED.
5) Superhero movies. I like these, I really do, and there are some really kick-ass stories that go along with these characters. There are also a LOT of challenges. Superhero films almost always fall victim to the time-allotment rule already addressed. More minutes of film to truly get into the psyche of the hero will solve a good portion of the problems most off these movies encounter. And, let's face it - a lot of the villains are rather cardboard - they always were. The biggest thing about superhero movies: don't skip the story. Take your time to tell it properly. Spend the money. You might not get it all back immediately, but you will produce better film, not just some pocket-lining film.
6) Books into movies. There's a general rule to follow here. I think it's something like 150 pages = 1 hour of film time - or something like that. It might even be steeper than that, like 200 pages or something. whatever it is....STICK to it. It might take 5 pages to describe a thing on paper and an instant in visual time - but let's face it, the panoramic views of cameras/ different angles that can be shot, the looks on the faces of the main character and the opposite of the scene, etc...it's not a problem. If you can't get a book into a two-hour movie, again, there's something wrong. Vice versa, if you have to break up a book into several movies, there might also be something wrong. There are always exceptions to the rule, again, but as a general rule, this stands. And for all the haters out there, yes, I'm looking at Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" on this one (Even though I thoroughly enjoy his stuff - including The Hobbit" - I would probably rather have seen one 4.5 hour film than three different films.)
7) "Based on a true story." No. Just tell us the story, stop taking "dramatic license" I know, it's not half as fun, but please, if it was only one play on a football field, don't make a whole season out of it, ok?
8) "This was a great play." Then please...leave it as such. It works as a play because a play has a unique audience, being live. A film audience can't interact with the film in the same way a theatre audience interacts with a play...the energy back and forth just isn't there. Just because it's a great play doesn't mean it will make a great film - and not everything needs to be made into a film.
9) "That was a great movie!" I'm looking at Disney and Dreamworks here. You make some fascinating films, you really do. But seriously?? It doesn't need to be made into a musical. Or a stage play. Or anything else. it's JUST a movie. Often, based on a fairy tale. Don't do this. Please. It's just wrong. You don't own these stories. Let them go.
10) "Reality TV" No. Stop. It was a horrible idea. Seriously - it's The Hunger Games, and you're not on Katniss's side. You're the Empire...and not the good parts of it.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Monday, November 25, 2013
A moment to pause...
Walking around campus on my lunch hour is nice. It's particularly nice when the students are on break for the week, and it's nice and quiet. In a city, that's something rare to find: quiet. But Thanksgiving Break is a wonderful time to be out and about, even if it's rather unseasonably cold this year.
As I wandered, I saw a statue that is, after some 50 years or so, getting repaired. Yes, for those who have seen it, know to avoid "the circle," etc, The statue that was labeled by me and my cronies as we went through the university here as "Scary Jesus" is getting repaired, and eventually, moved to a new location. For those who've not seen Scary Jesus - this is a very modern take on the Crucified Christ erected in the 1960's. Like any art, it is an interpretation, nothing more. And, it was the 60s, so.....it looks a little misshapen when you're close to it. From a distance, it looks pretty decent. Standing next to it, yeah, it's pretty scary-looking. The problem is that the wooden cross to which the bronze figure is attached is rotting, and both for safety and preservation, it needs to be repaired.
But, as a quick "stop-gap" and safety measure, the figure has been ratchet-strapped to the cross. I rounded the corner of a building and was looking straight at it. It was, in a word, humbling. No, that sculpture itself isn't what caught me off-guard. I've seen it these past 18 years, and so I was expecting to see it. But the thought occurred to me how, in this festive time, when we are to be thankful for friends and family, and as we embark on another season of Advent for the Christian communities of this world, how we tend to lose the meaning of the season. How we bind Christ to that cross, by wrapping presents, by trimming trees, by enjoying the excesses of our world, and forgetting the meaning of the season.
Now, I am not suggesting that those of you out there who are against formal and organized religion must "believe." Far from it. But, I have seen many people complaining how stores are opting to stay open on Thanksgiving. There are many memes, chain letters, calls for boycotts, etc - all saying what a shame it is that people will be made to work on Thanksgiving, all because the greed of corporate America simply does not care about families, about togetherness, about the Brotherhood of Man. And when I saw that figure, strapped tightly to that cross, all I could think of is how we, too, are binding that spirit of giving tighter and tighter.
Before anyone gets the idea that this is going to be me going off on a rant about how Christianity is being stifled, let's pause. Every country, every religion, every tribe, every culture - indeed, every person - has their heroes. These are men and women who have contributed something of such great worth that they deserve to be remembered. They come from many walks of life - some were religious figures, others were military folk, some were politicians, and some were men and women of science. The facts are, they've come from all walks of life, but they all did something great: They gave of themselves. Some gave so they could receive, and some just gave because they felt it was right. It doesn't matter - they simply GAVE. Many gave themselves to a cause, completely, and to their deaths. It is this spirit of giving that makes them worthy of remembrance.
While it may seem a trite notion, and more like me justifying a self-righteous attitude, I can't help but stop and think, "What do I give, and from where do I give it?" Does it come from the heart, or from a checkbook, or a store? Do I give because it's right, or because someone expects me to do it? Do I try and give "things" or do I try and give of myself? These are questions I must answer, and I'm not sure I always want the honest answers. I think, perhaps, the more important question - for me, at least - is in my giving, no matter how I choose to do it, am I practicing that same spirit of giving that so many have lived for, and perhaps died for? Or, am I taking that spirit of giving and binding it up tightly?
That's a heck of a thought for a Monday.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
As I wandered, I saw a statue that is, after some 50 years or so, getting repaired. Yes, for those who have seen it, know to avoid "the circle," etc, The statue that was labeled by me and my cronies as we went through the university here as "Scary Jesus" is getting repaired, and eventually, moved to a new location. For those who've not seen Scary Jesus - this is a very modern take on the Crucified Christ erected in the 1960's. Like any art, it is an interpretation, nothing more. And, it was the 60s, so.....it looks a little misshapen when you're close to it. From a distance, it looks pretty decent. Standing next to it, yeah, it's pretty scary-looking. The problem is that the wooden cross to which the bronze figure is attached is rotting, and both for safety and preservation, it needs to be repaired.
But, as a quick "stop-gap" and safety measure, the figure has been ratchet-strapped to the cross. I rounded the corner of a building and was looking straight at it. It was, in a word, humbling. No, that sculpture itself isn't what caught me off-guard. I've seen it these past 18 years, and so I was expecting to see it. But the thought occurred to me how, in this festive time, when we are to be thankful for friends and family, and as we embark on another season of Advent for the Christian communities of this world, how we tend to lose the meaning of the season. How we bind Christ to that cross, by wrapping presents, by trimming trees, by enjoying the excesses of our world, and forgetting the meaning of the season.
Now, I am not suggesting that those of you out there who are against formal and organized religion must "believe." Far from it. But, I have seen many people complaining how stores are opting to stay open on Thanksgiving. There are many memes, chain letters, calls for boycotts, etc - all saying what a shame it is that people will be made to work on Thanksgiving, all because the greed of corporate America simply does not care about families, about togetherness, about the Brotherhood of Man. And when I saw that figure, strapped tightly to that cross, all I could think of is how we, too, are binding that spirit of giving tighter and tighter.
Before anyone gets the idea that this is going to be me going off on a rant about how Christianity is being stifled, let's pause. Every country, every religion, every tribe, every culture - indeed, every person - has their heroes. These are men and women who have contributed something of such great worth that they deserve to be remembered. They come from many walks of life - some were religious figures, others were military folk, some were politicians, and some were men and women of science. The facts are, they've come from all walks of life, but they all did something great: They gave of themselves. Some gave so they could receive, and some just gave because they felt it was right. It doesn't matter - they simply GAVE. Many gave themselves to a cause, completely, and to their deaths. It is this spirit of giving that makes them worthy of remembrance.
While it may seem a trite notion, and more like me justifying a self-righteous attitude, I can't help but stop and think, "What do I give, and from where do I give it?" Does it come from the heart, or from a checkbook, or a store? Do I give because it's right, or because someone expects me to do it? Do I try and give "things" or do I try and give of myself? These are questions I must answer, and I'm not sure I always want the honest answers. I think, perhaps, the more important question - for me, at least - is in my giving, no matter how I choose to do it, am I practicing that same spirit of giving that so many have lived for, and perhaps died for? Or, am I taking that spirit of giving and binding it up tightly?
That's a heck of a thought for a Monday.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, November 14, 2013
The Blocke
Ahh, the Blocke. I'm writing about the blocke for several reasons: First, the Blocke is the world's most horrible thing to experience. It's not that there's anything wrong, or that it's physically painful or anything like that. Far from it. The Blocke is really just nothing. And it's a horrible nothingness. Second, I'm a little bit inspired by my friend Kim - whose blog can be found here http://www.chicagonow.com/listing-toward-forty/2013/11/40-really-awful-writing-prompts/ - and her thoughts on writing prompts. Third, I am always frustrated by writing prompts whenever I come across them. So, I am now writing about The Blocke.
Oh yes, I know that Writer's Block is not spelled with the extra "e' on the end. Even the British wouldn't do something as trivial as that, and I'm pretty sure that they invented the extra "e" on the end of things, just to make English a harder language to understand. No, no - I put the "e" on the end because I want to, because it makes me smile, and because I often type the letter "e" on the end of a whole bunch of words, only to realize that it never belongs there, looks stupid, and makes anything I type look like a a teacher told her third-grade class to re-type a book of Kantian ethics from memory, and then went and corrected everything in red pen.
But, The Blocke is a terrible thing. Imagine, if you will, that you are good at something. No - I mean REALLY good at it. Not just "better than average," or "passable," I mean so good at something that you really cannot imagine that it would not be a part of your daily life. Yeah, you're THAT good at it - and on top of that, you're THRILLED by the concept that this thing would be in your life all the time. It can be anything at all, from playing sports to brushing your teeth (although that's just a bit scary). And then, one day, you are ready to do your favorite thing, only to discover that you have NO IDEA how to do it. That is The Blocke. Only, it's not that you don't remember how-you just....can't, and the harder you try, the harder it is. Not only that, but you KNOW you're good at it, and you KNOW you love it. You also KNOW that right now, it's the most horribly nasty thing that can happen to you and no matter what you do it's not going to be helping a damned thing so you might as well just write any old thing that pops into your head and who cares it's a run-on sentence that sounds more like the drivel spouted by a teen-aged girl who is breaking up with her boyfriend for the seventeenth time this week. Yeah, it's also that annoying.
But my friend wrote a very interesting little list of all the things to NOT write about when you are in The Blocke, including writing about The Blocke. Why does she say this? Because, the world at large does not care about anyone who is experiencing The Blocke, nor is it interested in hearing about your particular struggles with it, etc - because it's also a very, very personal thing, and let's face it - the public in general has no interest in hearing about the writer's personal problems. No, the world wants to be entertained, and that is a writer's job. Whether you're writing for a news source, or a personal blog, or Saturday Night Live, the object is to make it just entertaining enough to get people to continue to read while still be informative....or just plain making them spit their coffee all over their computer screen.
And to get through The Blocke, we have writing prompts. These are nothing more than ideas to try and get the creative juices of writing moving again. And I hate them. Oh, it's not that they're bad, or wrong, or anything at all - I just find them annoying, and I've finally come to the conclusion of WHY I find them so annoying: They all have to do with "I," because they all seem to start with getting in touch with the inner self: "Write about your worst day at school," "Write about a time when someone you love did something nice for you," or "You're walking down the street and happen upon a package containing $1,000. What do you do?" Really???? Are they serious? There are lists of these things, and people who get paid to come up with these lists...all for what? To help writers get over something that cannot be specifically defined or understood? I mean, what is this, the dark ages? Why don't we just pull the leeches out of retirement for medicine, or start treating people for "vapors" again? This is preposterous.
I'm not going to claim that I have the missing answer, one-size-fits-all magical snake oil that can "cure" The Blocke - that's silly. The problem is that every writer is different. Some may go bowling. Some may drink like a fish, since it worked for Hemingway. Some might listen to music - there are as many ways to get through The Blocke as there are writers who are busy doing it. I've experienced The Blocke many times before, and the only thing that I know works for me is busying my mind with things that do not involve writing, and putting myself in places where I feel inspired. Because nobody cares about what you would do with that $1,000, anyway - least of all, you. You're busy living in The Blocke.
Oh yes, I know that Writer's Block is not spelled with the extra "e' on the end. Even the British wouldn't do something as trivial as that, and I'm pretty sure that they invented the extra "e" on the end of things, just to make English a harder language to understand. No, no - I put the "e" on the end because I want to, because it makes me smile, and because I often type the letter "e" on the end of a whole bunch of words, only to realize that it never belongs there, looks stupid, and makes anything I type look like a a teacher told her third-grade class to re-type a book of Kantian ethics from memory, and then went and corrected everything in red pen.
But, The Blocke is a terrible thing. Imagine, if you will, that you are good at something. No - I mean REALLY good at it. Not just "better than average," or "passable," I mean so good at something that you really cannot imagine that it would not be a part of your daily life. Yeah, you're THAT good at it - and on top of that, you're THRILLED by the concept that this thing would be in your life all the time. It can be anything at all, from playing sports to brushing your teeth (although that's just a bit scary). And then, one day, you are ready to do your favorite thing, only to discover that you have NO IDEA how to do it. That is The Blocke. Only, it's not that you don't remember how-you just....can't, and the harder you try, the harder it is. Not only that, but you KNOW you're good at it, and you KNOW you love it. You also KNOW that right now, it's the most horribly nasty thing that can happen to you and no matter what you do it's not going to be helping a damned thing so you might as well just write any old thing that pops into your head and who cares it's a run-on sentence that sounds more like the drivel spouted by a teen-aged girl who is breaking up with her boyfriend for the seventeenth time this week. Yeah, it's also that annoying.
But my friend wrote a very interesting little list of all the things to NOT write about when you are in The Blocke, including writing about The Blocke. Why does she say this? Because, the world at large does not care about anyone who is experiencing The Blocke, nor is it interested in hearing about your particular struggles with it, etc - because it's also a very, very personal thing, and let's face it - the public in general has no interest in hearing about the writer's personal problems. No, the world wants to be entertained, and that is a writer's job. Whether you're writing for a news source, or a personal blog, or Saturday Night Live, the object is to make it just entertaining enough to get people to continue to read while still be informative....or just plain making them spit their coffee all over their computer screen.
And to get through The Blocke, we have writing prompts. These are nothing more than ideas to try and get the creative juices of writing moving again. And I hate them. Oh, it's not that they're bad, or wrong, or anything at all - I just find them annoying, and I've finally come to the conclusion of WHY I find them so annoying: They all have to do with "I," because they all seem to start with getting in touch with the inner self: "Write about your worst day at school," "Write about a time when someone you love did something nice for you," or "You're walking down the street and happen upon a package containing $1,000. What do you do?" Really???? Are they serious? There are lists of these things, and people who get paid to come up with these lists...all for what? To help writers get over something that cannot be specifically defined or understood? I mean, what is this, the dark ages? Why don't we just pull the leeches out of retirement for medicine, or start treating people for "vapors" again? This is preposterous.
I'm not going to claim that I have the missing answer, one-size-fits-all magical snake oil that can "cure" The Blocke - that's silly. The problem is that every writer is different. Some may go bowling. Some may drink like a fish, since it worked for Hemingway. Some might listen to music - there are as many ways to get through The Blocke as there are writers who are busy doing it. I've experienced The Blocke many times before, and the only thing that I know works for me is busying my mind with things that do not involve writing, and putting myself in places where I feel inspired. Because nobody cares about what you would do with that $1,000, anyway - least of all, you. You're busy living in The Blocke.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
My Junk E-mail, Hungary, and Godwin's Law.
OK, it's a guilty pleasure of mine, but occasionally, I actually DO look through my junk mail folder to see if there's anything funny to laugh at, or, on rare occasions, something that was actually accidentally sent there. Today offered me something that is both truly outrageous, humorous, offensive, and assinine - all at the same time. It began with the simple title, "Hungary has fallen."
Now, as I happen to be of Hungarian descent, this is of some interest to me - which also explains why this came to me, I'm sure. "Well," I figured, "This ought to be at least amusing."
According to this message, Hungary is no longer a democracy. OH GOOD GOD, SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!!
I mean, really, why wouldn't everyone in the world stand up and be the exact same as 'Merica? Don't they KNOW that our system is the best and they should all aspire to be just like us? But I digress. The message went on to say that the current president has signed away the rights of the opposition parties after many years of, "gutting legislative powers, crippling the free press, and eliminating all mention of a "republic" in the country's constitution." Hmmm...so, they managed to do what the GOP and Democrats have both been trying to do (unsuccessfully) for the last 200+ years. And they made it legal? This is sounding almost more like a blueprint than a travesty. But this gets better.
The message goes on to say that there has been a marked rise in state-sanctioned antisemitism, racism, the criminalization of the homeless, attacks on women and the LGBT community, and worst of all - there are three (count them, THREE) men who are simply known to have ties to the pro-Nazi Arrow Cross Party. Now, here's where I began to laugh. I know, I know, call me crass, but here's where this message really "jumps the shark." I will invoke Godwin's Law here, (for those not aware, in 1990 Mike Godwin surmised that eventually, every internet conversation will lead to a comparison to Hitler and Nazi Germany) because the rest of the e-mail pretty much says, "sign this petition to tell the European Union to do something before Hungary becomes the next Third Reich."
And I laughed. I laughed hard.
Now, I did not laugh because the accusations - especially if they are indeed true - are something to laugh about. I don't like to hear that people are being oppressed anywhere. Nope, what I'm laughing at is the implication that Hungary could ever become something even remotely close to the Third Reich of Nazi-Germany. I mean, this is Hungary. The last "Notable Battle" according to the Wiki on it.....1849, when they tried to gain independence from the Austrian-Hungarian Empire (you know, those Habsburgs we all learned about in high school). The attempt failed.
This is a very small country (just under 100,000 km2 and just under 10 million people) surrounded on all sides by mountains, with 44,000 military personnel - 34% less than our good neighbors to the north, Canada. (via nationmaster.com). Oh, and their neighbors are Serbia, Croatia, Romania, Austria, Slovenia, Slovakia, and the Ukraine. Let's pretend that Sun Tzu's "Art of War" is still practical for a second...how would an army made of mostly tanks and needing supplies, get through any of its neighbors without a sudden and vicious onslaught coming back at them??????? The next Third Reich? Really??? I mean, there's a big difference between having France to one side of you, Poland to the other, and being surrounded by mountains full of people who have turned fighting and killing each other for the last 50 years into an art form!
We're talking about a country that hasn't really been in the news for anything since a small political uprising in 1956. The Gabor sisters (Zsa-Zsa and Eva) are the most known export, other than Gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi, and perhaps musician Bela Fleck. So - what are they going to do to the world? Make us watch old ladies do a floor program to music that Fleck wrote? This is, of course, assuming that they CAN prevail in any sort of world-conquering scheme.
OK - I realize that what this email was talking about was not the military might of Hungary. It's talking about a mindset that can very easily be taken over by fanaticism and warped into something wholly different. We see it all the time, from Islamic extremists to the Westboro Baptist Church, to the GOP members who try to outlaw love to the Liberals who try to outlaw guns. It is pervasive in our world. Extremism - the blatant and purposeful lack of understanding housed in the idea that what an individual or group believes is correct, regardless of practicality - is wrong. But we must also remember something: as Americans, our viewpoint that because we have certain freedoms, rights, and privileges then everyone else MUST have the same ones is ALSO wrong. We're good at demanding our own social freedoms. We're arrogant in assuming that our way is the best for everyone, everywhere.
Commentary is welcome, both positive and negative. Please construct good arguments.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Now, as I happen to be of Hungarian descent, this is of some interest to me - which also explains why this came to me, I'm sure. "Well," I figured, "This ought to be at least amusing."
According to this message, Hungary is no longer a democracy. OH GOOD GOD, SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!!
I mean, really, why wouldn't everyone in the world stand up and be the exact same as 'Merica? Don't they KNOW that our system is the best and they should all aspire to be just like us? But I digress. The message went on to say that the current president has signed away the rights of the opposition parties after many years of, "gutting legislative powers, crippling the free press, and eliminating all mention of a "republic" in the country's constitution." Hmmm...so, they managed to do what the GOP and Democrats have both been trying to do (unsuccessfully) for the last 200+ years. And they made it legal? This is sounding almost more like a blueprint than a travesty. But this gets better.
The message goes on to say that there has been a marked rise in state-sanctioned antisemitism, racism, the criminalization of the homeless, attacks on women and the LGBT community, and worst of all - there are three (count them, THREE) men who are simply known to have ties to the pro-Nazi Arrow Cross Party. Now, here's where I began to laugh. I know, I know, call me crass, but here's where this message really "jumps the shark." I will invoke Godwin's Law here, (for those not aware, in 1990 Mike Godwin surmised that eventually, every internet conversation will lead to a comparison to Hitler and Nazi Germany) because the rest of the e-mail pretty much says, "sign this petition to tell the European Union to do something before Hungary becomes the next Third Reich."
And I laughed. I laughed hard.
Now, I did not laugh because the accusations - especially if they are indeed true - are something to laugh about. I don't like to hear that people are being oppressed anywhere. Nope, what I'm laughing at is the implication that Hungary could ever become something even remotely close to the Third Reich of Nazi-Germany. I mean, this is Hungary. The last "Notable Battle" according to the Wiki on it.....1849, when they tried to gain independence from the Austrian-Hungarian Empire (you know, those Habsburgs we all learned about in high school). The attempt failed.
This is a very small country (just under 100,000 km2 and just under 10 million people) surrounded on all sides by mountains, with 44,000 military personnel - 34% less than our good neighbors to the north, Canada. (via nationmaster.com). Oh, and their neighbors are Serbia, Croatia, Romania, Austria, Slovenia, Slovakia, and the Ukraine. Let's pretend that Sun Tzu's "Art of War" is still practical for a second...how would an army made of mostly tanks and needing supplies, get through any of its neighbors without a sudden and vicious onslaught coming back at them??????? The next Third Reich? Really??? I mean, there's a big difference between having France to one side of you, Poland to the other, and being surrounded by mountains full of people who have turned fighting and killing each other for the last 50 years into an art form!
We're talking about a country that hasn't really been in the news for anything since a small political uprising in 1956. The Gabor sisters (Zsa-Zsa and Eva) are the most known export, other than Gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi, and perhaps musician Bela Fleck. So - what are they going to do to the world? Make us watch old ladies do a floor program to music that Fleck wrote? This is, of course, assuming that they CAN prevail in any sort of world-conquering scheme.
OK - I realize that what this email was talking about was not the military might of Hungary. It's talking about a mindset that can very easily be taken over by fanaticism and warped into something wholly different. We see it all the time, from Islamic extremists to the Westboro Baptist Church, to the GOP members who try to outlaw love to the Liberals who try to outlaw guns. It is pervasive in our world. Extremism - the blatant and purposeful lack of understanding housed in the idea that what an individual or group believes is correct, regardless of practicality - is wrong. But we must also remember something: as Americans, our viewpoint that because we have certain freedoms, rights, and privileges then everyone else MUST have the same ones is ALSO wrong. We're good at demanding our own social freedoms. We're arrogant in assuming that our way is the best for everyone, everywhere.
Commentary is welcome, both positive and negative. Please construct good arguments.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Once More Unto the Breach...
Thus begins what is perhaps one of the most compelling speeches in human history...that ever came from a piece of mostly fiction. These words, uttered by Henry V in Shakespeare's famous work of the same name, were used to galvanize the will of the English forces to fight on and commit everything they had to win in battle - and they have been used ever since then when we find ourselves facing decisions which require us to give our all, commit wholeheartedly, and abandon ourselves to our fate for the decisions we face. This phrase has taken on many guises over the years: "Damn the torpedoes" "Come Hell or high water" "Jump in with both feet" "All in," etc, are just a few of the examples of this attitude that are still found in our language usage today.
It's not necessarily something we encounter every day, but the opportunities we have to steel our own will, call upon what courage we have in our blood, do surround us, and what makes us who we are is what we choose to do in those moments. Yesterday was a moment like that for me.
For quite a while now, the Fat Kid has been planning. See, I fell in love with a beautiful woman who changed my life forever. She has shown me patience, kindness, understanding, mercy, faithfulness, and most of all, love. She's shown me how to laugh again, how to experience real joy, and how to cultivate that inner light that burns inside each one of us. She's shown me what it means to go "all in." And so, I began planning for that moment when I could go "all in" with her, forever. Yup - I'm talking about the Big M...marriage.
So yesterday, with the plans to surprise this woman with a ring in a few weeks' time securely in my mind (and no one else's, mind you - nobody knew the whole story) I realized that those plans would come to naught. Not because I was no longer sure of the response, but because there was simply no need to wait any longer. It would have served no purpose other than to make her more anxious and frustrated. So I did the unthinkable: I spoiled my own secret machinations of surprise. Faced with the choice, I decided to go "all in."
Oh, she was mad. She wanted to be surprised. I ruined that one thing she was looking forward to, and now, how could she be surprised? It was ruined, and shattered. The perfect plan, laying in scraps at my feet. That's when I realized why it was that committing wholeheartedly to this woman wasn't just something I wanted to do - it's what I needed to do. There I was, the ring in my pocket, and my somewhat distraught love sitting on the edge of the water fountain next to me. And I knew that she loved me, even through the ruined surprise, she loved me still, and I loved her the more for it. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't according to plan, but there it was, staring me in the face: Life isn't perfect. It's full of twists and turns that take our perfect plans, tip them over, twist them up, crumple them and throw those plans on the trash heap. It's what we do when that happens that makes us who we are.
So, I reached into my pocket, knelt down on a knee before her, and said, "Life isn't perfect. It doesn't go according to plans, no matter how good they might be. This isn't how I envisioned it. But I'm not asking you to marry because I want perfection. I'm asking you to marry me because I want honesty. I love you with all I am, and if you'll have me, I would be honored if you would be my wife." ALL IN.
When was the last time you had one of these moments? What did you decide to do? Did you play it safe, or did you commit to it, wholeheartedly? Safe may keep you existing, but to truly live, you have to go all in, at least some of the time. No, you don't know what will happen. It probably won't go "according to plan." It probably will feel a little weird and strange. And sometimes, you may lose. But not doing it is like not asking a question - the answer will always be "no" if you don't ask it. It can't happen if you don't try. You cannot change anything if you do not take the risk, the chance, the guts and courage to say,
Oh, and for those playing along at home, she said, "Yes!"
The Fat Kid is getting married!
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
It's not necessarily something we encounter every day, but the opportunities we have to steel our own will, call upon what courage we have in our blood, do surround us, and what makes us who we are is what we choose to do in those moments. Yesterday was a moment like that for me.
For quite a while now, the Fat Kid has been planning. See, I fell in love with a beautiful woman who changed my life forever. She has shown me patience, kindness, understanding, mercy, faithfulness, and most of all, love. She's shown me how to laugh again, how to experience real joy, and how to cultivate that inner light that burns inside each one of us. She's shown me what it means to go "all in." And so, I began planning for that moment when I could go "all in" with her, forever. Yup - I'm talking about the Big M...marriage.
So yesterday, with the plans to surprise this woman with a ring in a few weeks' time securely in my mind (and no one else's, mind you - nobody knew the whole story) I realized that those plans would come to naught. Not because I was no longer sure of the response, but because there was simply no need to wait any longer. It would have served no purpose other than to make her more anxious and frustrated. So I did the unthinkable: I spoiled my own secret machinations of surprise. Faced with the choice, I decided to go "all in."
Oh, she was mad. She wanted to be surprised. I ruined that one thing she was looking forward to, and now, how could she be surprised? It was ruined, and shattered. The perfect plan, laying in scraps at my feet. That's when I realized why it was that committing wholeheartedly to this woman wasn't just something I wanted to do - it's what I needed to do. There I was, the ring in my pocket, and my somewhat distraught love sitting on the edge of the water fountain next to me. And I knew that she loved me, even through the ruined surprise, she loved me still, and I loved her the more for it. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't according to plan, but there it was, staring me in the face: Life isn't perfect. It's full of twists and turns that take our perfect plans, tip them over, twist them up, crumple them and throw those plans on the trash heap. It's what we do when that happens that makes us who we are.
So, I reached into my pocket, knelt down on a knee before her, and said, "Life isn't perfect. It doesn't go according to plans, no matter how good they might be. This isn't how I envisioned it. But I'm not asking you to marry because I want perfection. I'm asking you to marry me because I want honesty. I love you with all I am, and if you'll have me, I would be honored if you would be my wife." ALL IN.
When was the last time you had one of these moments? What did you decide to do? Did you play it safe, or did you commit to it, wholeheartedly? Safe may keep you existing, but to truly live, you have to go all in, at least some of the time. No, you don't know what will happen. It probably won't go "according to plan." It probably will feel a little weird and strange. And sometimes, you may lose. But not doing it is like not asking a question - the answer will always be "no" if you don't ask it. It can't happen if you don't try. You cannot change anything if you do not take the risk, the chance, the guts and courage to say,
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,
Or close the wall up with our English dead!
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility,
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger:
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favored rage,
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect,
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon, let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a gallèd rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swilled with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English,
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof,
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument.
Dishonor not your mothers. Now attest
That those whom you called fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
The mettle of your pasture. Let us swear
That you are worth your breeding, which I doubt not,
For there is none of you so mean and base
That hath not noble luster in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot.
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry “God for Harry, England, and Saint George!”
The Fat Kid is getting married!
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
A Little Less Fat Kid, a Lot More Awesome
It's time again for an update from the Fat Kid!
Well, as most of you all know, I've struggled on and off for a long time with weight issues. I mean, seriously, I call myself the Fat Kid...weight/body image issues, much??? Along with this whole running thing that I've been doing - yep, I've kinda sorta kept on AFTER the 5k - I've been trying to eat better, too. The last time I did this, I went from a heavy 265 lbs to 225 lbs. I looked great, I felt great, and then I sort of stopped taking as much care of myself as I should have, and my weight went back up to about 250 lbs. So, with the running and activity level this year, my goal was to lose about 20 lbs. And I'm proud to say that in about 12 weeks, I've done just that, and am sitting pretty at about 230 lbs!!!! YAY! Go, Me!
And then, today, a friend of mine posted an article on his facebook page about "crossfit." Now, if you're unfamiliar with it, crossfit is pretty much a high-energy, kick-ass program designed to improve your overall fitness level while building muscle, cutting fat, and making you physically capable of accomplishing anything. In basic terminology, this is what you should be doing if you are planning on outrunning and outmuscling the zombie apocalypse. It's crazy, in that same way the "p-90x" and "insanity" workouts are crazy. But...it does work. But, I digress. My friend posted an article about what winning means, and why it's important. Here's the quote from the article that caught me:
"Winning is about overcoming doubts, overcoming fears and insecurities. It's ridding ourselves of negative thoughts and telling our bodies and our minds to do what they've been training to do over the past weeks, months, and years." -Pat Hanavan
OK, you might be saying, "I'm tired of all your positive-talk and gobbledegook nonsense!" I don't blame you. It's tough to keep hearing it over and over, particularly if you're NOT one of those annoyingly positive people. But please, re-read that quote. It says it plain as day: "...telling our bodies and minds to do what they've been training to do..." That's how you win. That's how you succeed, in anything. There's a scientific principle that mimics this, in the laws of intertia: Objects at rest tend to stay at rest, while objects in motion tend to stay in motion. This is the same thing. If we train to be sedentary, we will stay that way, and if we train to be active, we will remain so. All it takes is a little willpower to overcome our fears, our doubts, and our insecurities. I'm an expert in those. I have many. They challenge me constantly, and I hate them. I hate that I can't shut those fears off. I hate that they intervene in my life and cause me to doubt. For a long time, those fears ruled my life, and I didn't very much like me. Now? Now, I still have skirmishes with those fears, those doubts, those insecurities. Sometimes, they win. I win a lot more of those skirmishes than I used to.
I'm training to win them all.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Well, as most of you all know, I've struggled on and off for a long time with weight issues. I mean, seriously, I call myself the Fat Kid...weight/body image issues, much??? Along with this whole running thing that I've been doing - yep, I've kinda sorta kept on AFTER the 5k - I've been trying to eat better, too. The last time I did this, I went from a heavy 265 lbs to 225 lbs. I looked great, I felt great, and then I sort of stopped taking as much care of myself as I should have, and my weight went back up to about 250 lbs. So, with the running and activity level this year, my goal was to lose about 20 lbs. And I'm proud to say that in about 12 weeks, I've done just that, and am sitting pretty at about 230 lbs!!!! YAY! Go, Me!
And then, today, a friend of mine posted an article on his facebook page about "crossfit." Now, if you're unfamiliar with it, crossfit is pretty much a high-energy, kick-ass program designed to improve your overall fitness level while building muscle, cutting fat, and making you physically capable of accomplishing anything. In basic terminology, this is what you should be doing if you are planning on outrunning and outmuscling the zombie apocalypse. It's crazy, in that same way the "p-90x" and "insanity" workouts are crazy. But...it does work. But, I digress. My friend posted an article about what winning means, and why it's important. Here's the quote from the article that caught me:
"Winning is about overcoming doubts, overcoming fears and insecurities. It's ridding ourselves of negative thoughts and telling our bodies and our minds to do what they've been training to do over the past weeks, months, and years." -Pat Hanavan
OK, you might be saying, "I'm tired of all your positive-talk and gobbledegook nonsense!" I don't blame you. It's tough to keep hearing it over and over, particularly if you're NOT one of those annoyingly positive people. But please, re-read that quote. It says it plain as day: "...telling our bodies and minds to do what they've been training to do..." That's how you win. That's how you succeed, in anything. There's a scientific principle that mimics this, in the laws of intertia: Objects at rest tend to stay at rest, while objects in motion tend to stay in motion. This is the same thing. If we train to be sedentary, we will stay that way, and if we train to be active, we will remain so. All it takes is a little willpower to overcome our fears, our doubts, and our insecurities. I'm an expert in those. I have many. They challenge me constantly, and I hate them. I hate that I can't shut those fears off. I hate that they intervene in my life and cause me to doubt. For a long time, those fears ruled my life, and I didn't very much like me. Now? Now, I still have skirmishes with those fears, those doubts, those insecurities. Sometimes, they win. I win a lot more of those skirmishes than I used to.
I'm training to win them all.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)