Merry Christmas to whomever actually reads my ramblings. I've been thinking about leaving a note of seasonal cheer on this site, but was sorta puzzled as to how. After all, when one doesn;t know who's paying attention, it's a bit difficult to leave a note for those people. Today, I received the answer.
I received a card today. It was perhaps the best card I have ever received. The note inside was simple, and it read, "Find your fast." Now, the friend who sent it - being a cyclist (like the Fat Kid, but, well, much better) understands that speed to a cyclist is both an achievement and a drug. You see, one can never be fast enough. You always want more. When you run out of opponents, you race the clock and yourself. Always, always, always, the drive to improve. To be faster.
But what my friend was wishing me was not that I would find my drug and become high as a kite. He was wishing for my dreams to be fulfilled, for a season to be remembered - in short, that whatever my heart desired may come to pass. To "find my fast" is a wish to find that which is most precious to you, and hold onto it.
It made me stop and think. What do I really want most of all? What is my "fast"? What I want, more than anything, is very simple. I want all of those people in my life to know how much they matter to me. I want to tell them what their lives have meant to my own. How I would never have discovered Shakespeare if it weren't for being cast in that play, or how I learned what love meant. I want them to know how their silliness helped me discover my own latent funny side, or how much a little bit of support helped me find the strength and reason to keep riding through the pain. I want to say 'thank you' to all those who simply gave a little affirming nod to my ideas, or laughed at a joke. Or read fom my pages. Or listened to me play & sing (or played and sang with me). I want to tell them how much I value their friendship, and for those friends that I am rediscovering, how much I've missed them. All of you, in whatever function you have served in my life, are responsible for who I am - and I could not be more grateful to each and every one of you.
Thank you, my friend, for your card. For that wish.
May you all find your own "fast" this holiday season, and know that yes, you have made a difference to at least one person.
And may God bless us, Every One.
