If you like movies, it's hard to not get excited about the Academy Awards - you know, the Oscars. To me, it's always about the story, and transporting yourself into that other world that only exists on film, and allowing it to fill you up for a couple of hours. But, back to the topic.
Last night, I got excited to tune in to the Oscars - something which rarely happens. Usually, I find out the day after that they were broadcast the previous evening. But I actually caught the whole program last night, for a change, and there are a few things that caught my attention:
1) Botox. JUST SAY NO. Whether it was Joan Rivers' plasticity-ridden everything on the red carpet, or Billy Crystal's immovable face on stage, this stuff is bad ju-ju. OK, maybe in the strange little world that is Hollywood, it's OK to be that fake, but for the rest of us, this is a horrible visage. Academy, here's a rule: since you're breaking the bubble and letting the rest of us in for one night, can you maybe choose someone to host who's not so full of plastic that he looks like a Jeff Dunham doll?
2) ALL OF THOSE SOUND ENGINEERS IN THE BUILDING, AND YOU CAN'T GET THE MICROPHONES WORKING CORRECTLY??? Epic Fail, Academy. Epic Fail. Whomever you hired to do the soundcheck sucks.
3) Stop editing the comedians. Billy Crystal is funnier than that. Let him go and have fun up there. I don't mind the horrid monologue, and the REALLY bad montage at the beginning, and I can even look past the bad singing. But seriously - let him be crass and crude - that's when he's funniest. This is supposed to be a night of good-natured ribbing, laughing at themselves and honoring the select few. It was more than obvious that you held back your emcee.
4) THANK YOU for going a little old-school last night. Indeed, the last few years seem to be involved with Hollywood trying to get back to the golden age of film, and I, for one, couldn't be happier. But I've noticed a bit of a trend. You're finally starting to honor good film-making, not just super-budget films full of craziness. While I rarely see any of the films that are actually nominated (we'll get to that in a second) at least you're starting to get back to good story-telling.
5) NOW, there's only one more step: The reason I don't watch many films in the theatres is that, quite frankly, you're charging too much and not entertaining me for enough time. I wouldn't mind paying so much if I was guaranteed at least 120 minutes of film footage to watch. If you want to get back to good, quality film-making, then you have to stop with this ridiculous 90-minute film thing. Ninety minutes is an ABC Sunday Night movie - with time for commercials to fill up a two hour timeslot. There you go - the perfect medium for it. It does not belong in the theatres. Movies are supposed to be "showing off." the first rule of showing off is that when you do it, do it all the way - don't ever hold back. Tell a proper story - don't cut the corners...THRILL your audiences again with the power of a GREAT script, not a mediocre one full of soundbites and explosions.
6) AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, STOP WITH THE DAMNED SEQUELS TO CRAPPY ACTION MOVIES. In fact, stop ALL sequels unless it's a case where there are actually multiple books, etc out in a series. (Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc only work because there are multiple volumes of text from which to derive film.....The Fast and the Furious 5...not so much.)
7) Also - stop remaking films - particularly classic films. By doing so, you're really saying, "Wow, this film sucks, so we're going to try and fix it." No. Do honor to your own industry by innovating, not just rehashing the same old thing.
8) cast an unknown to emcee the Oscars...I respectfully submit my name for the job. I can provide character witnesses - many people are convinced I'm a character.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
What's all the hubbub, bub?
Sometimes, I look at our world, and I see things that are good and right. And other times, I see things that are just plain stupid. Too often, lately, I've been finding a lot of stupid things, and the list continues to grow.
My new favorite act of stupidity: The uproar over the Catholic Church's stance on birth control. Personally, I don't care what each one of us believes. I assume that you believe as you do for your own reasons - and those reasons make sense to you, much like I believe as I do because it makes sense to me. I'm not out to change opinions. But by now, I'm assuming that most people reading this are asking, "Then why do you call it stupid?" I'm glad you asked!!
Here's what's happening: The Catholic Church believes that contraception violates the covenant of marriage by limiting the presence of God within the sexual act. As such, and under the auspices of "separation of church and state," the Church does not want to pay for someone's birth control. Here's the important distinction that a lot of what I've seen is FAILING to understand: The Church can't force anyone to do anything. All it can do is provide people with information - moral, ethical, theological, philosophical information - on how to make the best decisions possible and still remain in the graces of God (here's the uber-important part) AS GOD IS UNDERSTOOD BY MAN ("man," as in the all-inclusive plural - meaning "everyone." If you cannot understand this term, there's the door, get out.) What the Church CAN do, and is attempting to do, is make the statement, "You can do what we believe is wrong - but you're on your own for it. The choice is yours, and YOU must answer for it." In short - the Church wants you to have a spiritual threesome, and is giving you the choice to behave however you want!!!!
So, back to the point, now that the background information is out there: Why do I say the uproar over this is stupid? It's simple, really: we (as a society) do not understand that with "choice" comes "consequence." They are, in fact, inseparable. I choose to post this blog - someone (likely many people) will be offended. Someone chooses to not pay attention to the road while driving, and someone else dies from the ensuing accident. Every choice we make has a consequence, and some have a higher cost than others. BUT - the rhetoric being used is that it is a person's RIGHT TO CHOOSE birth control oo not. WHERE IN THIS ARGUMENT IS THE PART ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCE OF CHOICE? We don't want to talk about that, do we?
Wait - oh we DO want to talk about it - when it comes to things like banking and auto manufacturing bailouts! THEN - we ALL want the people responsible for making bad decisions to PAY FOR IT. Or what about unemployment? Medicare? Immigration? THEN - everyone talks about drains on the system, and is it really necessary, and WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE?? But when the Church says the same thing, everyone is up in arms over it. We want accountability when and where it is CONVENIENT for us. THAT is hipocracy, and THAT is stupid. To top it off, we're also wasting time and money debating this topic in our public courts. HOW IS THIS INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR?
Now - for those whom are already incensed (I'm talking to you, science-citers)- there IS a viable argument that medically and scientifically, birth control is a good thing. Does it make life easier? Yes. Is it beneficial to a woman's overall health? Well, if you define "health" as simply "not being in pain from cramps, bloating, etc.," then yes, for a lot of women, this is the case. Are there other medical benefits? Yes, there are. I know women who suffer from chronic migraines who benefit from the use of birth control, just to name ONE of those benefits. There are others, I'm sure, of which I am not familiar. I do not discount their existence, nor that for many people, these are reasons enough to use birth control. I'll say it again, because I'm sure there are some who need to be reminded, I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU CHOOSE. Make up your mind as you will - that's NOT mine to judge.
BUT - no matter which side you choose, there are consequences, and you MUST bear them. That is TRUE freedom. By eliminating the consequence of monetary cost, the government is eliminating "choice," (remember, choice and consequence are inseparable) and making us more and more the servants of government. That's NOT how it's supposed to function. That is NOT freedom. You want the freedom to choose whether or not to use birth control? You've already got it.
Intelligent commentary and dialog is invited, but there are a few protocols you should know about:
1) This commentary is about CHOICE, and the nature of CHOICE and our society. It is NOT about how backwards-thinking the Church is in your opinion. Keep it there.
2)"Flame wars" will not be tolerated. Part of the consequence here is that people may be angry - I accept that, and further, I won't apologize for it. Lashing out in anger makes a person look like an utter moron. The choice (and consequence)is yours.
3) My blog, my rules. I get to determine what "intelligent commentary" means, not you. If I determine your comments to be "unintelligent," I will give you ONE chance to rectify it. No more than ONE.
4) The Catholic Church: supporting spiritual threesomes.
5) I am not "against" women's healthcare, nor am I, in any way against women.
Thanks for reading.
The Fat Kid.
My new favorite act of stupidity: The uproar over the Catholic Church's stance on birth control. Personally, I don't care what each one of us believes. I assume that you believe as you do for your own reasons - and those reasons make sense to you, much like I believe as I do because it makes sense to me. I'm not out to change opinions. But by now, I'm assuming that most people reading this are asking, "Then why do you call it stupid?" I'm glad you asked!!
Here's what's happening: The Catholic Church believes that contraception violates the covenant of marriage by limiting the presence of God within the sexual act. As such, and under the auspices of "separation of church and state," the Church does not want to pay for someone's birth control. Here's the important distinction that a lot of what I've seen is FAILING to understand: The Church can't force anyone to do anything. All it can do is provide people with information - moral, ethical, theological, philosophical information - on how to make the best decisions possible and still remain in the graces of God (here's the uber-important part) AS GOD IS UNDERSTOOD BY MAN ("man," as in the all-inclusive plural - meaning "everyone." If you cannot understand this term, there's the door, get out.) What the Church CAN do, and is attempting to do, is make the statement, "You can do what we believe is wrong - but you're on your own for it. The choice is yours, and YOU must answer for it." In short - the Church wants you to have a spiritual threesome, and is giving you the choice to behave however you want!!!!
So, back to the point, now that the background information is out there: Why do I say the uproar over this is stupid? It's simple, really: we (as a society) do not understand that with "choice" comes "consequence." They are, in fact, inseparable. I choose to post this blog - someone (likely many people) will be offended. Someone chooses to not pay attention to the road while driving, and someone else dies from the ensuing accident. Every choice we make has a consequence, and some have a higher cost than others. BUT - the rhetoric being used is that it is a person's RIGHT TO CHOOSE birth control oo not. WHERE IN THIS ARGUMENT IS THE PART ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCE OF CHOICE? We don't want to talk about that, do we?
Wait - oh we DO want to talk about it - when it comes to things like banking and auto manufacturing bailouts! THEN - we ALL want the people responsible for making bad decisions to PAY FOR IT. Or what about unemployment? Medicare? Immigration? THEN - everyone talks about drains on the system, and is it really necessary, and WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE?? But when the Church says the same thing, everyone is up in arms over it. We want accountability when and where it is CONVENIENT for us. THAT is hipocracy, and THAT is stupid. To top it off, we're also wasting time and money debating this topic in our public courts. HOW IS THIS INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR?
Now - for those whom are already incensed (I'm talking to you, science-citers)- there IS a viable argument that medically and scientifically, birth control is a good thing. Does it make life easier? Yes. Is it beneficial to a woman's overall health? Well, if you define "health" as simply "not being in pain from cramps, bloating, etc.," then yes, for a lot of women, this is the case. Are there other medical benefits? Yes, there are. I know women who suffer from chronic migraines who benefit from the use of birth control, just to name ONE of those benefits. There are others, I'm sure, of which I am not familiar. I do not discount their existence, nor that for many people, these are reasons enough to use birth control. I'll say it again, because I'm sure there are some who need to be reminded, I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU CHOOSE. Make up your mind as you will - that's NOT mine to judge.
BUT - no matter which side you choose, there are consequences, and you MUST bear them. That is TRUE freedom. By eliminating the consequence of monetary cost, the government is eliminating "choice," (remember, choice and consequence are inseparable) and making us more and more the servants of government. That's NOT how it's supposed to function. That is NOT freedom. You want the freedom to choose whether or not to use birth control? You've already got it.
Intelligent commentary and dialog is invited, but there are a few protocols you should know about:
1) This commentary is about CHOICE, and the nature of CHOICE and our society. It is NOT about how backwards-thinking the Church is in your opinion. Keep it there.
2)"Flame wars" will not be tolerated. Part of the consequence here is that people may be angry - I accept that, and further, I won't apologize for it. Lashing out in anger makes a person look like an utter moron. The choice (and consequence)is yours.
3) My blog, my rules. I get to determine what "intelligent commentary" means, not you. If I determine your comments to be "unintelligent," I will give you ONE chance to rectify it. No more than ONE.
4) The Catholic Church: supporting spiritual threesomes.
5) I am not "against" women's healthcare, nor am I, in any way against women.
Thanks for reading.
The Fat Kid.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Doldrums of Winter and How I Beat Them.
Ok - now, it's not like we've actually HAD winter, yet. Seriously, as winter goes, this one has been exceedingly mild, and I'm not complaining. But it's still chilly and it gets dark early, which means there's got to be something to do to beat the depressing off-season when I can't get out and ride my bike. SOOOO - here's a quick run-down of what's been going on in my life lately.
"It's biodigital jazz, man." What? Have I been sucked into the vortex of Tron? No, but through the advantage of the interwebs, I've been able to get in touch with some old friends and have some fun getting together for the yearly Chittenango Jazz night and Reunion. Yep, nothing like picking up your horn once a eyar for about a month to practice some music you haven't played in a very long time. But it's fun: go back home, spend a day playing jazz with two bands, perform that night, and then it's off again to come home. Oh yes, and "Boozing with the faculty" on Friday and Saturday nights. what would be really cool, though, is if all my 'Nangonian friends would actually bother to show up for the concert so we could all kinda hang out. Jeff and Danielle have a reason, with a brand new baby...but the rest of you - better be there next year.
Carving: yeah, even though the Christmas season is done - which usually means some time off from the woodshop, I've been commissioned to make a couple of pipes - What? A paying job?? I know, it's amazing! But it's fun, and so far, that's coming along well. Also had to refurbish an old trunk for a gift and then I have a few top-secret projects I'm working on, too - and possibly some nice stuff with www.ABRAracing.com! Seriously, check out the web page.
Volleyball: Oh yes, as long as I'm reliving some glory days of yore, why not try getting some fun in on the volleyball court? Well, I've found a local group of people here that allows me to do just that, and I have so much fun with them, it should hardly be legal. It's good exercise, and I've met some really fun people. They try to get me to go out three times a week with them, but I'll likely just stick to once a week.
A play: What?? Yeah, there are some upcoming auditions for William Inge's "Picnic." I just have to find out the show dates. An interesting thing about this play: Inge re-wrote the ending into something he was more satisfied with, and entitled the re-write, "Summer Brave." In the Fall of 1994, my senior year in high school, we performed "Summer Brave" as our fall play. It was a good show, and a lot of fun to do. I had a blast, and the opportunity to be in it again is very tempting. Being older now, I imagine I won't be cast in the same role I was in, but there are some other very nice roles that would be suitable. It's an option, at any rate.
So, that's what's new in the world of the Fat Kid, just in case you were wondering.
Thanks for Reading,
The Fat Kid
"It's biodigital jazz, man." What? Have I been sucked into the vortex of Tron? No, but through the advantage of the interwebs, I've been able to get in touch with some old friends and have some fun getting together for the yearly Chittenango Jazz night and Reunion. Yep, nothing like picking up your horn once a eyar for about a month to practice some music you haven't played in a very long time. But it's fun: go back home, spend a day playing jazz with two bands, perform that night, and then it's off again to come home. Oh yes, and "Boozing with the faculty" on Friday and Saturday nights. what would be really cool, though, is if all my 'Nangonian friends would actually bother to show up for the concert so we could all kinda hang out. Jeff and Danielle have a reason, with a brand new baby...but the rest of you - better be there next year.
Carving: yeah, even though the Christmas season is done - which usually means some time off from the woodshop, I've been commissioned to make a couple of pipes - What? A paying job?? I know, it's amazing! But it's fun, and so far, that's coming along well. Also had to refurbish an old trunk for a gift and then I have a few top-secret projects I'm working on, too - and possibly some nice stuff with www.ABRAracing.com! Seriously, check out the web page.
Volleyball: Oh yes, as long as I'm reliving some glory days of yore, why not try getting some fun in on the volleyball court? Well, I've found a local group of people here that allows me to do just that, and I have so much fun with them, it should hardly be legal. It's good exercise, and I've met some really fun people. They try to get me to go out three times a week with them, but I'll likely just stick to once a week.
A play: What?? Yeah, there are some upcoming auditions for William Inge's "Picnic." I just have to find out the show dates. An interesting thing about this play: Inge re-wrote the ending into something he was more satisfied with, and entitled the re-write, "Summer Brave." In the Fall of 1994, my senior year in high school, we performed "Summer Brave" as our fall play. It was a good show, and a lot of fun to do. I had a blast, and the opportunity to be in it again is very tempting. Being older now, I imagine I won't be cast in the same role I was in, but there are some other very nice roles that would be suitable. It's an option, at any rate.
So, that's what's new in the world of the Fat Kid, just in case you were wondering.
Thanks for Reading,
The Fat Kid
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