I want to work for JC Penney.

Really, I do. But I don;t want to work just anywhere, no, I want to work making the catalog. What's more, I want to be the guy who gets to name the colors for everything. Seriously! Think about it: What color is anything? I could make it all up!! All I would have to do is get somewhere close to it, and I'm all set! The only job that requires less effort to be correct is a weatherman, but people don't like him. People like the guy that says, "No, that's not a pink shirt in the men's department, it's 'Pale Coral', or 'Salmon'." And Voila! A man buys a pink shirt for himself.
You can make colors sexy: red becomes scarlet, black is midnight, white can be called essence...seriosuly, the possibilities are rather limitless. And that's before you get to standard decorator colors! Green, Blue, and Yellow no longer exist. They are now: Windblown Sage, Ocean's Depth, and Warm Sunshine. Brown? Oh, don't even get me started on the many many shades of brown! From Umber to Sienna, Desert Sand, Smoky Tumbleweed, etc, etc...

And just think, we haven't even approached using "sounds" as descriptors, yet!!! "Harp's Melody"....who the hell cares what the color is, you KNOW some designer will see that , fall in love with it, call it "fabulous" and buy 30 yards of a fabric called "Harp's Melody." Say hello to your new drapes. While we're on the topic of designers, why has no one yet named a color or pattern "Fabulous"????? Just putting it out there.

Equally cool is the guy who gets to name the colors for Crayola. His job's already done for him. You can hear the conversation: Executive - "Hey what color is that? It reminds me of the lipstick left on my collar from the hooker I picked up last weekend." Color-Naming-Guy - "I call it 'Hooker's Lipstick'." Executive - "Wow, you really nailed it!" Color-Naming-Guy - "Just like you!" Both break into fits of uproarious laghter. This guy doesn't even have to think up new names for colors, he just calls them what they look like in real life! And your children use these colors, and like them!!!

And it's so cool, it even gets into the hunting community. Think about it - those neon vests they wear? "Blaze Orange". Why? Because hunters will wear something called "Blaze Orange" and they won't wear something called 'Construction Barrel'. They even have different kinds and patterns of camoflage which they wear with the blaze orange so that only their elbows can be seen!! And someone has to name these patterns. I simply call them: "sticks and leaves over taupe". Which suddenly makes them sound like a piece of art that should be hanging in a museum. Or a piece of something else that should be hanging on a laundry line. You choose.

Blogging, play practice, puppies, and...whatever...

OK, so I haven't been blogging in a while. For those of you who don't care for my sense of humor, this probably sounds like an excellent idea. Phooey on you. For those of you who look forward to my verbage, my humble apologies.

The reason I've been away has been because of Bertolt Brecht. Yep, it's all his fault. With the recent completion of the run of "Mother Courage and Her Children," perhaps one his better-known plays. Generally, this means that in 5 weeks, we built, produced, rehearsed, and got a very difficult show on stage and suitable for viewing audiences. The production is also being done in London at the moment, where they took a heck of a lot longer to get it up and running, and they have a whole ton of money at their disposal. A big fat nya-nya-nya-nya-nya to London.

OK, so now that I'm back, I have a rare lunchtime opportunity to take care of some writing. Rare, because most days for last few weeks, I've been running home on my lunch hour to take the puppy (also referred to as "Thunder Paws") outside before she floats away. What? She's a puppy, and suffers from a small bladder which requires some noon-time attention!! So yes, today, my lovely wife is taking on the duty of helping Thunder Paws out for her daily lunchtime consitutional, leaving me free to be here.

Am gearing up to start my off-season program. Usually, I would wait until November to start, but since the end of my summer was so sparse, I should count that as my time off, and start now. The problem is finding the time. Early morning isn't working out as planned, for it wakes the puppy, and she must then spend time tramping about the house (hence the nickname) and waking everyone up. Hmmm...hardwood floors seemed like such a good idea at the time. That leaves the evening, preferably right after work. Of course, at that point, Thunder Paws has been in her crate all day, and wants nothing more than to run around and get a little crazy. With someone. Luckily, she's not picky as to with whom - as long as she can get rid of some of the energy. Of course, since I'm the only one home at the time, her options are a bit limited. Simply finding a time to ride should NOT be this complicated!!!!!

Perhaps i will simply attach her to a large piece of concrete (with room to run, of course) and leave her outside the garage while I am inside ridding today. It's sorta with me, and sorta on her own, but as long as she can come and go as she needs, that should work, right???? *sigh* Gotta find a solution. Any and all suggestions are welcome on this one.

I have been having some success in my workshop of late. For those who don't know, I do a little bit of wood carving, and have been enjoying my current project. I'd tell you more, but it's a secret from certain prying eyes - rest assured that there will be photos taken and they will be posted for all to gawk ack and tell me how amazing I am. HA!

All right - I'm out. Type to you all another day.