Once More Unto the Breach...

Thus begins what is perhaps one of the most compelling speeches in human history...that ever came from a piece of mostly fiction.  These words, uttered by Henry V in Shakespeare's famous work of the same name, were used to galvanize the will of the English forces to fight on and commit everything they had to win in battle - and they have been used ever since then when we find ourselves facing decisions which require us to give our all, commit wholeheartedly, and abandon ourselves to our fate for the decisions we face.  This phrase has taken on many guises over the years: "Damn the torpedoes" "Come Hell or high water" "Jump in with both feet"  "All in," etc, are just a few of the examples of this attitude that are still found in our language usage today.

It's not necessarily something we encounter every day, but the opportunities we have to steel our own will, call upon what courage we have in our blood, do surround us, and what makes us who we are is what we choose to do in those moments.  Yesterday was a moment like that for me.

For quite a while now, the Fat Kid has been planning.  See, I fell in love with a beautiful woman who changed my life forever.  She has shown me patience, kindness, understanding, mercy, faithfulness, and most of all, love.  She's shown me how to laugh again, how to experience real joy, and how to cultivate that inner light that burns inside each one of us.  She's shown me what it means to go "all in."   And so, I began planning for that moment when I could go "all in" with her, forever.  Yup - I'm talking about the Big M...marriage.

So yesterday, with the plans to surprise this woman with a ring in a few weeks' time securely in my mind (and no one else's, mind you - nobody knew the whole story)  I realized that those plans would come to naught.  Not because I was no longer sure of the response, but because there was simply no need to wait any longer.  It would have served no purpose other than to make her more anxious and frustrated.  So I did the unthinkable: I spoiled my own secret machinations of surprise.  Faced with the choice, I decided to go "all in."

Oh, she was mad.  She wanted to be surprised.  I ruined that one thing she was looking forward to, and now, how could she be surprised?  It was ruined, and shattered.  The perfect plan, laying in scraps at my feet.  That's when I realized why it was that committing wholeheartedly to this woman wasn't just something I wanted to do - it's what I needed to do.  There I was, the ring in my pocket, and my somewhat distraught love sitting on the edge of the water fountain next to me.  And I knew that she loved me, even through the ruined surprise, she loved me still, and I loved her the more for it.  It wasn't perfect, it wasn't according to plan, but there it was, staring me in the face:  Life isn't perfect.  It's full of twists and turns that take our perfect plans, tip them over, twist them up, crumple them and throw those plans on the trash heap.  It's what we do when that happens that makes us who we are.

So, I reached into my pocket, knelt down on a knee before her, and said, "Life isn't perfect.  It doesn't go according to plans, no matter how good they might be.  This isn't how I envisioned it.  But I'm not asking you to marry because I want perfection.  I'm asking you to marry me because I want honesty.  I love you with all I am, and if you'll have me, I would be honored if you would be my wife."  ALL IN.

When was the last time you had one of these moments?  What did you decide to do?  Did you play it safe, or did you commit to it, wholeheartedly?  Safe may keep you existing, but to truly live, you have to go all in, at least some of the time.  No, you don't know what will happen.  It probably won't go "according to plan."  It probably will feel a little weird and strange.  And sometimes, you may lose.  But not doing it is like not asking a question - the answer will always be "no" if you don't ask it.  It can't happen if you don't try.  You cannot change anything if you do not take the risk, the chance, the guts and courage to say,

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,

Or close the wall up with our English dead!

In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man

As modest stillness and humility,

But when the blast of war blows in our ears,

Then imitate the action of the tiger:

Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,

Disguise fair nature with hard-favored rage,

Then lend the eye a terrible aspect,

Let pry through the portage of the head

Like the brass cannon, let the brow o'erwhelm it

As fearfully as doth a gallèd rock

O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,

Swilled with the wild and wasteful ocean.

Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,

Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit

To his full height. On, on, you noblest English,

Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof,

Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,

Have in these parts from morn till even fought

And sheathed their swords for lack of argument.

Dishonor not your mothers. Now attest

That those whom you called fathers did beget you.

Be copy now to men of grosser blood,

And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,

Whose limbs were made in England, show us here

The mettle of your pasture. Let us swear

That you are worth your breeding, which I doubt not,

For there is none of you so mean and base

That hath not noble luster in your eyes.

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,

Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot.

Follow your spirit, and upon this charge

Cry “God for Harry, England, and Saint George!”

Oh, and for those playing along at home, she said, "Yes!"
The Fat Kid is getting married!

Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid