OK, so this is probably gonna anger some folks. Sorry about that - I don't wanna anger anybody. My purpose in writing this isn't to cause anger or resentment, but to get some thoughts straight in my head, and thus, grow. Maybe it will help others, too. Maybe not. But I think there is a lot of confusion out there, and people struggling with limitations in thinking on this particular topic - and I think it's on a lot of sides of this social issue.
I know that I have a limitation, and it's this: I don't understand why we have Pride Month, or African American Month, or pick your ethnic/cultural identity month etc. Awareness months for diseases, I understand. But this stuff, I am having a problem with. HERE is where I expect some folks to be angry with me - but I promise you I am going to get to the point, if you bear with me, but I am going to take a circuitous route to get there. My problem in understanding is that I don't see what there is to be proud of. If (and I believe this is true) being gay or bi or lesbian or transgender or whatever is something that is simply a part of who you are and always has been, then it's not an accomplishment, is it? It's simply who a person is or what they look like. Is this my cultural bias showing? I think it is, honestly. As a straight white man, I have no idea what it's like to not be what I am, and so part of it is, yes - I am biased. Is that good or bad? I think that depends on how I treat others because of that bias.
Now - here's where I hit some conflict with encountering my bias. Racism exists, and it's nasty. Oppression based on sexism exists, and it's ugly. People are putting down others all the time (and I have probably done it on occasion, too, I am sad to admit) based upon their biases - and it's wrong. Because of these attitudes of oppression, do we, as a culture, need to be aware of the contributions to society that folks not fitting into the white heternormative ("heteronormative" being defined as "denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation") world have made? ABSOLUTELY. Those accomplishments are many and they are important, and they should be honored and celebrated, and shared to the world. But are those accomplishments any more special because someone is gay or Asian, or Native American, or African American or (pick something) - or are those accomplishments because we're all simply people, and "people" come in a variety of sizes, shapes, colors, and orientations? Is the accomplishment dependent upon these other things, or is it simply "human accomplishment?" An actor, for example, isn't a good actor because they are gay or straight or African American or Asian or Caucasian - they are simply a good actor. They are good at their craft because they have studied, experienced, and worked at it.
I was talking about this with a guy the other day, explaining my hang-up, and he said something which I find to be quite brilliant, and I will paraphrase it: "I don't look at Pride Month as being a celebration of being gay, I look at it as a celebration of part of the greater culture of our world, a chance to see the beauty of humanity." And there it was, suddenly in front of me. I have always tried (and sometimes failed) to live the whole "love your neighbor as yourself" thing. Because this is what I was always taught was good and it made sense, so why not? But now, I have a little more adult understanding of it: LGBTQ+ is my culture. So is being Caucasian, or African American or Asian, or Native American or any other number of things (seriously, that list would never end) because above all, I am human. But racism, sexism, religious persecution and all those other things we don't like to admit to being??? Those are an unfortunate part of my culture, too, because I am human. I don't like to admit to those, but, they exist. Because they exist, maybe that's why we need Pride Month, and African American Month, and all those other things that celebrate the many facets of beauty in this world. Maybe, just maybe, if we keep celebrating our collective beauty, we can one day eradicate our ugliness. And maybe when that's gone, and we're no longer ugly to one another, we can simply be human, and we won't need these various labels.
I was wrong before. Maybe I understand it (a little) better than I thought. Or maybe I just needed to see it written out to take a couple steps in a good direction.
Anyway,
Thanks for reading,
Me
