Whew! just under the gun here at poetry central! it's 11:21 PM as I sit to write today's update. Oh well, better late than never, and still, we're looking at trying to get 2 poems out to today's blog. OK, then, away we go!!
The Lovers
All is still.
Peaceful and quiet, the simple moments
where noe one cares for anything but the safety of a minimal touch.
To know the pulse and temperature of another,
so much nearer than than the other side of the marriage bed.
The love of another, more than a kiss, a touch,
more than than unbridled energy to be spent upon each other,
waiting for the flashing vision in the eye.
More than all this, is simplicity.
Peace, contentedness, grace: Love.
Cogs
A Man-machine,
drifting, drafting, spinning after another,
desperate to keep the wheel, not wanting to give in, trying to hold back one little bit,
Waiting for the man-machine ahead to crack,
Ever present, the drive, the sprint, the points, the presitge,
knowing that tomorrow, you'll wear a target,
a marked man,
legs of iron, and will of stronger stuff,
Faster and faster, the Man becomes the machine -
until there is nothing left
but the search for the next victory.
OK, these may come off a bit odd. Well, it's sort of a stream of consciousness thing I've got got going on right now. Meh. Not the best stuff I've ever put out, but certainly not the worst.
Oddly, I've found a resource that might help me out. A book on worshopping poetry!!! I happened across it as it came back into the library, and so, I just HAD to check it out and see where it leads/if there's anything interesting int it. We shall see, yes?
Hey, thanks for reading.
The Fat Kid
1 comment:
I finally see that I'm missing the boat with my comments and leaving them here instead of facebook. ;) No matter. Another odd note, that the word verification letters always seem to me at least to make very interesting words - not English, but things that maybe could be.
Anyway, enough stream of consciousness on my own part. The first was rather straightforward and for me instantly conjured by an image of a favorite contemporary artist of mine, Jack Vettriano. He's perhaps best known for his paintings that have a sense of palpable noir about them. You've surely seen a print by him at my various abodes since me being in Pittsburgh. That's all this poem did for me, create a nice noir image about two lovers, one moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Thanks for the conjuring.
Cogs was a little bit more difficult, in that I could kind of pick out some of the threads you were using or trying to use, but I didn't get an overall sense of what you were trying to do or where you were trying to go with the poem as a whole. My whole impression by the end was to nod along with you and go "ok. . .but?" I didn't get a sense of where the most important line, part, sentence, word was in the poem, where the focal point was or where I was meant to be driven. The individual cogs were nice, though.
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