Hey, thanks for the comments thus far! Not that I've had many, but the ones I do get are positive, and you have my thanks. You know who you are.
What a fine day in Pittsburgh. 74 with a slight chance of rain for the opening the MLB season here. 1:35 game time. Well, it's bright and sunny, with a nice spring breeze blowing, and I'm hoping for a Pirate win! It's hard to not be a baseball fan on a day like today!! Anyway, on to today's offering!!
I had a suggestion that I should do something with form. Normally, I am not a fan of doing this - as it always seems contrived to me. But, when I read the following words, I thought I could set them down in a decent enough way.
Tatters
Threads beat in the wind
Hanging upon one another
none could stand
Alone.
Each a seperate wire,
a patchwork of simple lines
woven together,
a simple idea their only common dye.
Freedom.
Allegiance to it is not mandatory,
but without it,
The Flag
unravels.
Thanks for reading.
The Fat Kid
3 comments:
addendum: grrr...it seems that spacing and form are slightly off -it doesn't really affect this one too much, as the basic ideas acan sill be found, but the handwritten version is much cooler.
I need to read more carefully.
I thought the title said taters, and I was lost for a moment. Not a morsel of food in there at all.
I can see technically what you were trying to do here with this one, I think, and can guess what it might look like written out on the page. Very interesting concept. As a reading experience, however, I felt it very fragmented. Again, this may have been part of the plan too, "tatters" of a whole poem or something. Perhaps some more playing with the form could alter the reading experience, something you might play. Or not. Sometimes the fun of experimenting is about finding out what works and what works for us, no?
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