Ahhh, so here it is, 10:30 PM, and I have yet to write today's poem. I suppose I should get started on that, yes?? OK, since you asked so nicely, I will.
There's an old joke: A man walks into his therapist's office and say, "Doctor, I feel depressed." The therapist listens to him, and after some serious thinking, he says, "You should go and see the great clown, Pastorini - he's in town this weekend." The man begins sobbing uncontrollably. Between his sobs, he says, "Doctor, I AM Pastorini!"
The Sad Clown
Thunderous applause is to me empty,
vacant, stopped in my ears
like so much heavy smoke
that clings to the room of small rooms,
trapped, never escaping,
staining all it touches,
only to be wiped away by the maid.
I take a bow,
but it is shallow,
a hollow reminder
of a performance built entirely on falsehood,
receiving the false calls of those
only wanting to escape their lives for a little while.
I exit the stage
the theatre marquis only tells of the character,
not the man.
unknown on the street,
i am nothing.
I am alone.
Whenever I hear the joke mentioned above, I wonder how the clown would describe himself and his situation. I wonder if anyone would understand the clown, and how he would feel. This is one take on the possibilities of it. I hope you enjoyed!
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Celebrating 5 years of poetry!!!!!
That's right, everybody - this is the 5th Annual Poetry Challenge!!!!! For those of you who might be new to this, here's how it works:
Each year, for the month of April, I challenge myself to write a new poem. There are no general rules for the poetry itself - it can be any form - as long as it is published daily...or near daily, at least. You are welcome to suggest themes, topics, etc, and I may or may not use them. You are also welcome to play along by writing your own! I don't ask you to write 30 poems - but even if you wrote one a week or something like that, it could be a lot of fun. The idea is to flex those creative muscles, have some fun, and explore. This is a journey, and I invite you to share mine.
So, why April? It's National Poetry Month, that's why. Why is that important? For a lot of reasons, really. For me, it's important because the art of poetry isn't about a political statement, or even telling a story - it's about connecting each of us, one to the other, through the use of the written word. It's about sharing experiences, hopes, dreams, sorrows, and tragedies with each other. After all, we have to share this world with one another, and the next life, too, if you believe in that. It helps define our experience here on this earth. And maybe - just maybe - someone will read it, and it may change a life for the better in some way.
This year, the poems are once again going to be all over the place in theme, and possibly style, too. I have a few ideas, random images that have come to mind throughout the last year that I would like to explore and think about. I hope you'll join me. Feedback is encouraged, in all its forms - though I would prefer that if you have strong criticisms for any reason, you at least back them up. Saying, "I hate this!" but not telling me why doesn't help anyone. "I hate this, because the topic made me want to vomit," however, is a useful note.
So, with that, let's get on with it, shall we?
Poetry Challenge, v. 5.0, Day 1
The Box
I remember the Idea-
a simple box, accentuated,
filled with paper and pen,
a gift to give away.
I thought of Her-
and it brought light,
a touch of pale maple,
soft flowers in relief.
It was Her-
hard as iron,
softened at the edges,
trees becoming flower petals.
It sat in Honor-
the deskspace cleared,
a handmade trophy,
my accomplishment and hers.
I am humbled by an Idea-
a simple box, sealed,
filled with an old woman's last request,
the gift returned hundred-fold.
In memory of Joan Claire Demer Buckman, 4/30/1920 - 2/26/2014
I love you, Grandma.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Each year, for the month of April, I challenge myself to write a new poem. There are no general rules for the poetry itself - it can be any form - as long as it is published daily...or near daily, at least. You are welcome to suggest themes, topics, etc, and I may or may not use them. You are also welcome to play along by writing your own! I don't ask you to write 30 poems - but even if you wrote one a week or something like that, it could be a lot of fun. The idea is to flex those creative muscles, have some fun, and explore. This is a journey, and I invite you to share mine.
So, why April? It's National Poetry Month, that's why. Why is that important? For a lot of reasons, really. For me, it's important because the art of poetry isn't about a political statement, or even telling a story - it's about connecting each of us, one to the other, through the use of the written word. It's about sharing experiences, hopes, dreams, sorrows, and tragedies with each other. After all, we have to share this world with one another, and the next life, too, if you believe in that. It helps define our experience here on this earth. And maybe - just maybe - someone will read it, and it may change a life for the better in some way.
This year, the poems are once again going to be all over the place in theme, and possibly style, too. I have a few ideas, random images that have come to mind throughout the last year that I would like to explore and think about. I hope you'll join me. Feedback is encouraged, in all its forms - though I would prefer that if you have strong criticisms for any reason, you at least back them up. Saying, "I hate this!" but not telling me why doesn't help anyone. "I hate this, because the topic made me want to vomit," however, is a useful note.
So, with that, let's get on with it, shall we?
Poetry Challenge, v. 5.0, Day 1
The Box
I remember the Idea-
a simple box, accentuated,
filled with paper and pen,
a gift to give away.
I thought of Her-
and it brought light,
a touch of pale maple,
soft flowers in relief.
It was Her-
hard as iron,
softened at the edges,
trees becoming flower petals.
It sat in Honor-
the deskspace cleared,
a handmade trophy,
my accomplishment and hers.
I am humbled by an Idea-
a simple box, sealed,
filled with an old woman's last request,
the gift returned hundred-fold.
In memory of Joan Claire Demer Buckman, 4/30/1920 - 2/26/2014
I love you, Grandma.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Shhhhh! don't tell anyone....
....but guess what's coming up? Yup - here, in this little corner of the universe, I will be celebrating the 5th annual Poetry Challenge!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, I know - it's hard to believe that there have been five years of this going on, and just in case there are a couple people out there who don't know what I'm doing, Here's the explanation:
Every day of the month of April, I have to create and share an original poem. If circumstances mean that I have to miss a day, I have to make that day up. Very rarely, I will simply share something that I wrote a long time ago, but has never seen the light of day. I try to NOT make that happen very often.
What's the point of this? I'm glad you asked. Writing is a journey - whether it's poetry, journaling, blogging, noveling, or what have you. The point is that it's a journey for the writer. I publish it here because it's a small way in which I can invite you, the reader, to journey with me. But it's more than that. If you're reading this, you are now cordially invited to not only read along with me, but to write and participate along side me as well. No, I do not ask that you take up the same challenge (though it WOULD be rather neat, yes?) But maybe once a week, or at least share a poem or two that you enjoy. Since most people will likely be connecting through facebook to this blog - post a poem on your page. Fill yourselves and the world up with good things - like poetry!
I can hear it now: "But, dude, I just don't "get" poetry." If you like any words to any song - or at least know any - then you get, and possibly like, poetry. If you've ever been in awe of something, you understand poetry. Poetry is about emotion, the senses, and just getting in touch with the world on both the physical and philosophical planes. It can be serious, silly, disgusting, sappy, enlightening, mysterious, inspirational....the list goes on. If you've ever had any feelings like this, you not only "get" poetry - you've lived it!
But, not everyone is a writer, and not everyone wants to take up this challenge. So, I offer you another alternative. Challenge me. Give me a category, an emotion - whatever - to write about, and I shall do my darnedest to include it this year's batch of poetry. Please not, this is NOT a "stump the writer" challenge, where you say, "Write about a smurf, coffee, international phone rates, and the price of gold futures." I mean - I COULD - but that's extraordinarily silly. I've had requests for lullabyes before, and a few general "moods"...let's keep it to stuff like that, shall we?? Thanks! I look forward to any requests you may have!!!
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
I know, I know - it's hard to believe that there have been five years of this going on, and just in case there are a couple people out there who don't know what I'm doing, Here's the explanation:
Every day of the month of April, I have to create and share an original poem. If circumstances mean that I have to miss a day, I have to make that day up. Very rarely, I will simply share something that I wrote a long time ago, but has never seen the light of day. I try to NOT make that happen very often.
What's the point of this? I'm glad you asked. Writing is a journey - whether it's poetry, journaling, blogging, noveling, or what have you. The point is that it's a journey for the writer. I publish it here because it's a small way in which I can invite you, the reader, to journey with me. But it's more than that. If you're reading this, you are now cordially invited to not only read along with me, but to write and participate along side me as well. No, I do not ask that you take up the same challenge (though it WOULD be rather neat, yes?) But maybe once a week, or at least share a poem or two that you enjoy. Since most people will likely be connecting through facebook to this blog - post a poem on your page. Fill yourselves and the world up with good things - like poetry!
I can hear it now: "But, dude, I just don't "get" poetry." If you like any words to any song - or at least know any - then you get, and possibly like, poetry. If you've ever been in awe of something, you understand poetry. Poetry is about emotion, the senses, and just getting in touch with the world on both the physical and philosophical planes. It can be serious, silly, disgusting, sappy, enlightening, mysterious, inspirational....the list goes on. If you've ever had any feelings like this, you not only "get" poetry - you've lived it!
But, not everyone is a writer, and not everyone wants to take up this challenge. So, I offer you another alternative. Challenge me. Give me a category, an emotion - whatever - to write about, and I shall do my darnedest to include it this year's batch of poetry. Please not, this is NOT a "stump the writer" challenge, where you say, "Write about a smurf, coffee, international phone rates, and the price of gold futures." I mean - I COULD - but that's extraordinarily silly. I've had requests for lullabyes before, and a few general "moods"...let's keep it to stuff like that, shall we?? Thanks! I look forward to any requests you may have!!!
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, January 2, 2014
And now for something completely different....again...
OK, it's 2014, and we've all made those pesky resolutions. Yeah, we've decided to get in shape, stop doing this or that, make sure we do other things, etc. We've all done it a little, at least in our heads, if not on paper or digitally. We look back at our failures of the last year and see where and how we want to make a change in our lives, and make plans. Oh, we love to plan. We're REALLY good at laying plans, as a matter of fact. We're SO good at it, we tend to do a lot of planning, and put off actualizing those changes until "THE PLAN" is in place. Then it's too late, and we discover that there is no way we can live up to our plan, because we've gone and planned too big. So we revise the plan. We make it smaller and smaller and smaller until the net change is...minimal, at best. We often get disheartened by this.
I was reminded of something yesterday, though, that might be a good reminder for us all: Take time for ME. It's something I've known for a while: that if I do not take time to do the things I want to do - whether time in my workshop, time spent writing, riding my bike, or whatever else there may be - I become less happy. It takes a lot of time for it to happen, but here's how it works: it starts with a little thing here and there. "Sure, I don't need to do that today, I can do something for someone else." And before you know it, there's all sorts of time lost, one hour at a clip. And each and every time, it's a decision that I've made. It's my fault, no question. It's not a fault to be generous with my time to others - that's a good quality, in fact. No, the fault is that I do not take the time to be generous to myself in the same manner in which I am generous to others.
Of course, I'm not saying that we should strive to take care of good old #1 before anything else, but in my case, it's important to remember that if there is no maintenance done for A#1, top of the list, king of the hill, ME, then I'm going to run out of steam and grow hollow inside. I've been there before, and frankly, it's not a fun place to be. When you're hollow inside, life stinks.
So what changes can I make to accomplish this self-maintenance thing? Particularly in a year where my fiancee and I are planning a wedding, it's going to be difficult, but I think I'm up for the challenge. So here it is: my New year's resolutions for 2014:
1) Pray more. Meditation/prayer/quiet time are good for reflecting, for being honest with yourself, and for centering/focusing on the important things.
2) Write more. Along the same lines as praying, writing is an outlet. It's good to give that voice inside a chance to talk.
3) MS-150...I missed doing it last year, and while I had other things happening, it would be good to get back into the swing of this. It also is good for clearing the head.
4) More workshop time. This is a must, for many reasons.
That's it. those are the four changes I need to make. Of course, it means some sacrifices in other areas of life, but that's ok. I expect that there will still be times when I put off some of these to do things with/for others. But I also need to get better at remembering to take the time for ME. Because if I'm not in good shape, I won't be able to do things for others at all.
So what do you need to do for YOU to make life better in 2014?
Thanks for Reading,
The Fat Kid
I was reminded of something yesterday, though, that might be a good reminder for us all: Take time for ME. It's something I've known for a while: that if I do not take time to do the things I want to do - whether time in my workshop, time spent writing, riding my bike, or whatever else there may be - I become less happy. It takes a lot of time for it to happen, but here's how it works: it starts with a little thing here and there. "Sure, I don't need to do that today, I can do something for someone else." And before you know it, there's all sorts of time lost, one hour at a clip. And each and every time, it's a decision that I've made. It's my fault, no question. It's not a fault to be generous with my time to others - that's a good quality, in fact. No, the fault is that I do not take the time to be generous to myself in the same manner in which I am generous to others.
Of course, I'm not saying that we should strive to take care of good old #1 before anything else, but in my case, it's important to remember that if there is no maintenance done for A#1, top of the list, king of the hill, ME, then I'm going to run out of steam and grow hollow inside. I've been there before, and frankly, it's not a fun place to be. When you're hollow inside, life stinks.
So what changes can I make to accomplish this self-maintenance thing? Particularly in a year where my fiancee and I are planning a wedding, it's going to be difficult, but I think I'm up for the challenge. So here it is: my New year's resolutions for 2014:
1) Pray more. Meditation/prayer/quiet time are good for reflecting, for being honest with yourself, and for centering/focusing on the important things.
2) Write more. Along the same lines as praying, writing is an outlet. It's good to give that voice inside a chance to talk.
3) MS-150...I missed doing it last year, and while I had other things happening, it would be good to get back into the swing of this. It also is good for clearing the head.
4) More workshop time. This is a must, for many reasons.
That's it. those are the four changes I need to make. Of course, it means some sacrifices in other areas of life, but that's ok. I expect that there will still be times when I put off some of these to do things with/for others. But I also need to get better at remembering to take the time for ME. Because if I'm not in good shape, I won't be able to do things for others at all.
So what do you need to do for YOU to make life better in 2014?
Thanks for Reading,
The Fat Kid
Friday, December 6, 2013
"Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens..."
OH, last night was it - the live showing of "The Sound of Music" starring Carrie Underwood and a few other famous names, almost all of which I've never heard of. But, as many of my well-informed friends have heard of them, I'm going to call them famous. It should be noted that this was a live airing of the BROADWAY version, not the HOLLYWOOD version. What?? You didn't know that it was a stage play before the film version starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer???? If you didn't and you are over the age of 17, you have failed/been failed by your education.
Now, there are several camps that people have been ideologically divided into on this:
Camp 1: The HOW DARE YOU EVER DO ANYTHING AGAINST JULIE ANDREWS Camp. Now, I'm not going to dis the GREAT (and she IS great) Ms. Andrews. I think she's awesome, personally, and her performance in the film was just marvy. But let's be a little real: there are high schools that do this production every year, and they are not doing anything "against" Ms. Andrews. They are aspiring to something greater than what they were....that's all.
Camp 2: BUT IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FILM AND WASN'T AS BELIEVABLE. You - shut up. Now. It's called "willful suspension of disbelief." We KNOW the entire country of Austria isn't on stage. The Alps are still where they were, in Europe. If you can't have a little imagination, you should really never be allowed to look at a television or movie screen again.
Camp 3: IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!! Thank you for letting us understand your complete lack of experience.
Camp 4: EVERYTHING NOT THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION SUCKS!!! You are an elitist snob. Your attitude wouldn't bother me if Rogers and Hammerstein didn't re-write the show for the movies, but they did, and THEY liked it better. You didn't write either rendition, so you don't get a vote. You can have your preferences, but please, don't trod on anyone else's.
Camp 5: YOU CAN'T RE-MAKE A CLASSIC!!! You....actually have a point, but there are limits. You can re-make a classic, and while it will never be the same performance, it can have equally good things in it. You don't have to like it. For example, there have been at least three renditions of "Miracle on 34th Street" done - and I'm sure there are others that I just don't care to research. I'm partial to the original, and prefer it in black and white - but that doesn't make the colorized version, or the last version that was in theatres, bad. It just makes them a little different. Please, pick your fave and enjoy it.
BUT, you camp 5-ers - you have a point on re-making that which was close to perfection in the first place. Why do over what was done so well?? So, I have created the Fat Kid Laws of Entertainment!!!!
FAT KID LAWS OF ENTERTAINMENT:
1) Other people's pain is hilarious. Why? Because it's not you, but you will gladly watch someone else get knocked in the groin, the head, etc. Humans are kinda sick that way. But, it sells, and we're always happy to watch that slow-motion sequence at the end of Die Hard where Hans (Alan Rickman) falls to his death.
2) Video Games should remain where they are. I know - this one's going to tick a lot of people off, but at this point, video games have progressed to the point where they are really more like films themselves - it's no longer a viable thing to make a game into a movie. That ship has sailed. Time to stop that.
3) Films should be made to tell stories, not fill timeslots. If you can't fill 120 minutes (that's two hours) of FILM time (not including previews, etc) then it doesn't belong in a theatre. 90 minutes = a two hour time slot on TV with commercials. Exceptions exist here for kids' movies and documentaries, but in general, if it's not 120 minutes (and even here, there's some leeway for "close enough") it shouldn't be made into a feature movie. You simply can't tell a good story in less time. And seriously - we pay enough for tickets, popcorn, etc - we should get 2 hours of film time, minimum. Oh, and if you CAN'T fill up a 2-hour timeframe...then it's probably not a good story for film, anyway.
4) The re-make. No film shall be re-made until everyone who had a lead role in the previous version is dead. Yeah, I'm looking at you, makers of the latest "Footloose." Not cool. I believe that when you constantly re-make stuff like this, we lose more than we create. Yes, the original "Footloose" was a veritable treasure-trove of 80s awesomeness. Now - OK - there's some of that stuff we SHOULD be forgetting on purpose, but there are also a lot of things that we should remember, too. Film is a part of our historical social record. They can't learn about the 80s, it's good parts and its bad parts, if they don't encounter the 80s. Now, go ahead and steal the plots (James Cameron stole "Dances With Wolves" for "Avatar" and it mostly worked) but NO REMAKING UNTIL THE LEADS HAVE PERISHED.
5) Superhero movies. I like these, I really do, and there are some really kick-ass stories that go along with these characters. There are also a LOT of challenges. Superhero films almost always fall victim to the time-allotment rule already addressed. More minutes of film to truly get into the psyche of the hero will solve a good portion of the problems most off these movies encounter. And, let's face it - a lot of the villains are rather cardboard - they always were. The biggest thing about superhero movies: don't skip the story. Take your time to tell it properly. Spend the money. You might not get it all back immediately, but you will produce better film, not just some pocket-lining film.
6) Books into movies. There's a general rule to follow here. I think it's something like 150 pages = 1 hour of film time - or something like that. It might even be steeper than that, like 200 pages or something. whatever it is....STICK to it. It might take 5 pages to describe a thing on paper and an instant in visual time - but let's face it, the panoramic views of cameras/ different angles that can be shot, the looks on the faces of the main character and the opposite of the scene, etc...it's not a problem. If you can't get a book into a two-hour movie, again, there's something wrong. Vice versa, if you have to break up a book into several movies, there might also be something wrong. There are always exceptions to the rule, again, but as a general rule, this stands. And for all the haters out there, yes, I'm looking at Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" on this one (Even though I thoroughly enjoy his stuff - including The Hobbit" - I would probably rather have seen one 4.5 hour film than three different films.)
7) "Based on a true story." No. Just tell us the story, stop taking "dramatic license" I know, it's not half as fun, but please, if it was only one play on a football field, don't make a whole season out of it, ok?
8) "This was a great play." Then please...leave it as such. It works as a play because a play has a unique audience, being live. A film audience can't interact with the film in the same way a theatre audience interacts with a play...the energy back and forth just isn't there. Just because it's a great play doesn't mean it will make a great film - and not everything needs to be made into a film.
9) "That was a great movie!" I'm looking at Disney and Dreamworks here. You make some fascinating films, you really do. But seriously?? It doesn't need to be made into a musical. Or a stage play. Or anything else. it's JUST a movie. Often, based on a fairy tale. Don't do this. Please. It's just wrong. You don't own these stories. Let them go.
10) "Reality TV" No. Stop. It was a horrible idea. Seriously - it's The Hunger Games, and you're not on Katniss's side. You're the Empire...and not the good parts of it.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Now, there are several camps that people have been ideologically divided into on this:
Camp 1: The HOW DARE YOU EVER DO ANYTHING AGAINST JULIE ANDREWS Camp. Now, I'm not going to dis the GREAT (and she IS great) Ms. Andrews. I think she's awesome, personally, and her performance in the film was just marvy. But let's be a little real: there are high schools that do this production every year, and they are not doing anything "against" Ms. Andrews. They are aspiring to something greater than what they were....that's all.
Camp 2: BUT IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FILM AND WASN'T AS BELIEVABLE. You - shut up. Now. It's called "willful suspension of disbelief." We KNOW the entire country of Austria isn't on stage. The Alps are still where they were, in Europe. If you can't have a little imagination, you should really never be allowed to look at a television or movie screen again.
Camp 3: IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!! Thank you for letting us understand your complete lack of experience.
Camp 4: EVERYTHING NOT THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION SUCKS!!! You are an elitist snob. Your attitude wouldn't bother me if Rogers and Hammerstein didn't re-write the show for the movies, but they did, and THEY liked it better. You didn't write either rendition, so you don't get a vote. You can have your preferences, but please, don't trod on anyone else's.
Camp 5: YOU CAN'T RE-MAKE A CLASSIC!!! You....actually have a point, but there are limits. You can re-make a classic, and while it will never be the same performance, it can have equally good things in it. You don't have to like it. For example, there have been at least three renditions of "Miracle on 34th Street" done - and I'm sure there are others that I just don't care to research. I'm partial to the original, and prefer it in black and white - but that doesn't make the colorized version, or the last version that was in theatres, bad. It just makes them a little different. Please, pick your fave and enjoy it.
BUT, you camp 5-ers - you have a point on re-making that which was close to perfection in the first place. Why do over what was done so well?? So, I have created the Fat Kid Laws of Entertainment!!!!
FAT KID LAWS OF ENTERTAINMENT:
1) Other people's pain is hilarious. Why? Because it's not you, but you will gladly watch someone else get knocked in the groin, the head, etc. Humans are kinda sick that way. But, it sells, and we're always happy to watch that slow-motion sequence at the end of Die Hard where Hans (Alan Rickman) falls to his death.
2) Video Games should remain where they are. I know - this one's going to tick a lot of people off, but at this point, video games have progressed to the point where they are really more like films themselves - it's no longer a viable thing to make a game into a movie. That ship has sailed. Time to stop that.
3) Films should be made to tell stories, not fill timeslots. If you can't fill 120 minutes (that's two hours) of FILM time (not including previews, etc) then it doesn't belong in a theatre. 90 minutes = a two hour time slot on TV with commercials. Exceptions exist here for kids' movies and documentaries, but in general, if it's not 120 minutes (and even here, there's some leeway for "close enough") it shouldn't be made into a feature movie. You simply can't tell a good story in less time. And seriously - we pay enough for tickets, popcorn, etc - we should get 2 hours of film time, minimum. Oh, and if you CAN'T fill up a 2-hour timeframe...then it's probably not a good story for film, anyway.
4) The re-make. No film shall be re-made until everyone who had a lead role in the previous version is dead. Yeah, I'm looking at you, makers of the latest "Footloose." Not cool. I believe that when you constantly re-make stuff like this, we lose more than we create. Yes, the original "Footloose" was a veritable treasure-trove of 80s awesomeness. Now - OK - there's some of that stuff we SHOULD be forgetting on purpose, but there are also a lot of things that we should remember, too. Film is a part of our historical social record. They can't learn about the 80s, it's good parts and its bad parts, if they don't encounter the 80s. Now, go ahead and steal the plots (James Cameron stole "Dances With Wolves" for "Avatar" and it mostly worked) but NO REMAKING UNTIL THE LEADS HAVE PERISHED.
5) Superhero movies. I like these, I really do, and there are some really kick-ass stories that go along with these characters. There are also a LOT of challenges. Superhero films almost always fall victim to the time-allotment rule already addressed. More minutes of film to truly get into the psyche of the hero will solve a good portion of the problems most off these movies encounter. And, let's face it - a lot of the villains are rather cardboard - they always were. The biggest thing about superhero movies: don't skip the story. Take your time to tell it properly. Spend the money. You might not get it all back immediately, but you will produce better film, not just some pocket-lining film.
6) Books into movies. There's a general rule to follow here. I think it's something like 150 pages = 1 hour of film time - or something like that. It might even be steeper than that, like 200 pages or something. whatever it is....STICK to it. It might take 5 pages to describe a thing on paper and an instant in visual time - but let's face it, the panoramic views of cameras/ different angles that can be shot, the looks on the faces of the main character and the opposite of the scene, etc...it's not a problem. If you can't get a book into a two-hour movie, again, there's something wrong. Vice versa, if you have to break up a book into several movies, there might also be something wrong. There are always exceptions to the rule, again, but as a general rule, this stands. And for all the haters out there, yes, I'm looking at Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" on this one (Even though I thoroughly enjoy his stuff - including The Hobbit" - I would probably rather have seen one 4.5 hour film than three different films.)
7) "Based on a true story." No. Just tell us the story, stop taking "dramatic license" I know, it's not half as fun, but please, if it was only one play on a football field, don't make a whole season out of it, ok?
8) "This was a great play." Then please...leave it as such. It works as a play because a play has a unique audience, being live. A film audience can't interact with the film in the same way a theatre audience interacts with a play...the energy back and forth just isn't there. Just because it's a great play doesn't mean it will make a great film - and not everything needs to be made into a film.
9) "That was a great movie!" I'm looking at Disney and Dreamworks here. You make some fascinating films, you really do. But seriously?? It doesn't need to be made into a musical. Or a stage play. Or anything else. it's JUST a movie. Often, based on a fairy tale. Don't do this. Please. It's just wrong. You don't own these stories. Let them go.
10) "Reality TV" No. Stop. It was a horrible idea. Seriously - it's The Hunger Games, and you're not on Katniss's side. You're the Empire...and not the good parts of it.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Monday, November 25, 2013
A moment to pause...
Walking around campus on my lunch hour is nice. It's particularly nice when the students are on break for the week, and it's nice and quiet. In a city, that's something rare to find: quiet. But Thanksgiving Break is a wonderful time to be out and about, even if it's rather unseasonably cold this year.
As I wandered, I saw a statue that is, after some 50 years or so, getting repaired. Yes, for those who have seen it, know to avoid "the circle," etc, The statue that was labeled by me and my cronies as we went through the university here as "Scary Jesus" is getting repaired, and eventually, moved to a new location. For those who've not seen Scary Jesus - this is a very modern take on the Crucified Christ erected in the 1960's. Like any art, it is an interpretation, nothing more. And, it was the 60s, so.....it looks a little misshapen when you're close to it. From a distance, it looks pretty decent. Standing next to it, yeah, it's pretty scary-looking. The problem is that the wooden cross to which the bronze figure is attached is rotting, and both for safety and preservation, it needs to be repaired.
But, as a quick "stop-gap" and safety measure, the figure has been ratchet-strapped to the cross. I rounded the corner of a building and was looking straight at it. It was, in a word, humbling. No, that sculpture itself isn't what caught me off-guard. I've seen it these past 18 years, and so I was expecting to see it. But the thought occurred to me how, in this festive time, when we are to be thankful for friends and family, and as we embark on another season of Advent for the Christian communities of this world, how we tend to lose the meaning of the season. How we bind Christ to that cross, by wrapping presents, by trimming trees, by enjoying the excesses of our world, and forgetting the meaning of the season.
Now, I am not suggesting that those of you out there who are against formal and organized religion must "believe." Far from it. But, I have seen many people complaining how stores are opting to stay open on Thanksgiving. There are many memes, chain letters, calls for boycotts, etc - all saying what a shame it is that people will be made to work on Thanksgiving, all because the greed of corporate America simply does not care about families, about togetherness, about the Brotherhood of Man. And when I saw that figure, strapped tightly to that cross, all I could think of is how we, too, are binding that spirit of giving tighter and tighter.
Before anyone gets the idea that this is going to be me going off on a rant about how Christianity is being stifled, let's pause. Every country, every religion, every tribe, every culture - indeed, every person - has their heroes. These are men and women who have contributed something of such great worth that they deserve to be remembered. They come from many walks of life - some were religious figures, others were military folk, some were politicians, and some were men and women of science. The facts are, they've come from all walks of life, but they all did something great: They gave of themselves. Some gave so they could receive, and some just gave because they felt it was right. It doesn't matter - they simply GAVE. Many gave themselves to a cause, completely, and to their deaths. It is this spirit of giving that makes them worthy of remembrance.
While it may seem a trite notion, and more like me justifying a self-righteous attitude, I can't help but stop and think, "What do I give, and from where do I give it?" Does it come from the heart, or from a checkbook, or a store? Do I give because it's right, or because someone expects me to do it? Do I try and give "things" or do I try and give of myself? These are questions I must answer, and I'm not sure I always want the honest answers. I think, perhaps, the more important question - for me, at least - is in my giving, no matter how I choose to do it, am I practicing that same spirit of giving that so many have lived for, and perhaps died for? Or, am I taking that spirit of giving and binding it up tightly?
That's a heck of a thought for a Monday.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
As I wandered, I saw a statue that is, after some 50 years or so, getting repaired. Yes, for those who have seen it, know to avoid "the circle," etc, The statue that was labeled by me and my cronies as we went through the university here as "Scary Jesus" is getting repaired, and eventually, moved to a new location. For those who've not seen Scary Jesus - this is a very modern take on the Crucified Christ erected in the 1960's. Like any art, it is an interpretation, nothing more. And, it was the 60s, so.....it looks a little misshapen when you're close to it. From a distance, it looks pretty decent. Standing next to it, yeah, it's pretty scary-looking. The problem is that the wooden cross to which the bronze figure is attached is rotting, and both for safety and preservation, it needs to be repaired.
But, as a quick "stop-gap" and safety measure, the figure has been ratchet-strapped to the cross. I rounded the corner of a building and was looking straight at it. It was, in a word, humbling. No, that sculpture itself isn't what caught me off-guard. I've seen it these past 18 years, and so I was expecting to see it. But the thought occurred to me how, in this festive time, when we are to be thankful for friends and family, and as we embark on another season of Advent for the Christian communities of this world, how we tend to lose the meaning of the season. How we bind Christ to that cross, by wrapping presents, by trimming trees, by enjoying the excesses of our world, and forgetting the meaning of the season.
Now, I am not suggesting that those of you out there who are against formal and organized religion must "believe." Far from it. But, I have seen many people complaining how stores are opting to stay open on Thanksgiving. There are many memes, chain letters, calls for boycotts, etc - all saying what a shame it is that people will be made to work on Thanksgiving, all because the greed of corporate America simply does not care about families, about togetherness, about the Brotherhood of Man. And when I saw that figure, strapped tightly to that cross, all I could think of is how we, too, are binding that spirit of giving tighter and tighter.
Before anyone gets the idea that this is going to be me going off on a rant about how Christianity is being stifled, let's pause. Every country, every religion, every tribe, every culture - indeed, every person - has their heroes. These are men and women who have contributed something of such great worth that they deserve to be remembered. They come from many walks of life - some were religious figures, others were military folk, some were politicians, and some were men and women of science. The facts are, they've come from all walks of life, but they all did something great: They gave of themselves. Some gave so they could receive, and some just gave because they felt it was right. It doesn't matter - they simply GAVE. Many gave themselves to a cause, completely, and to their deaths. It is this spirit of giving that makes them worthy of remembrance.
While it may seem a trite notion, and more like me justifying a self-righteous attitude, I can't help but stop and think, "What do I give, and from where do I give it?" Does it come from the heart, or from a checkbook, or a store? Do I give because it's right, or because someone expects me to do it? Do I try and give "things" or do I try and give of myself? These are questions I must answer, and I'm not sure I always want the honest answers. I think, perhaps, the more important question - for me, at least - is in my giving, no matter how I choose to do it, am I practicing that same spirit of giving that so many have lived for, and perhaps died for? Or, am I taking that spirit of giving and binding it up tightly?
That's a heck of a thought for a Monday.
Thanks for reading,
The Fat Kid
Thursday, November 14, 2013
The Blocke
Ahh, the Blocke. I'm writing about the blocke for several reasons: First, the Blocke is the world's most horrible thing to experience. It's not that there's anything wrong, or that it's physically painful or anything like that. Far from it. The Blocke is really just nothing. And it's a horrible nothingness. Second, I'm a little bit inspired by my friend Kim - whose blog can be found here http://www.chicagonow.com/listing-toward-forty/2013/11/40-really-awful-writing-prompts/ - and her thoughts on writing prompts. Third, I am always frustrated by writing prompts whenever I come across them. So, I am now writing about The Blocke.
Oh yes, I know that Writer's Block is not spelled with the extra "e' on the end. Even the British wouldn't do something as trivial as that, and I'm pretty sure that they invented the extra "e" on the end of things, just to make English a harder language to understand. No, no - I put the "e" on the end because I want to, because it makes me smile, and because I often type the letter "e" on the end of a whole bunch of words, only to realize that it never belongs there, looks stupid, and makes anything I type look like a a teacher told her third-grade class to re-type a book of Kantian ethics from memory, and then went and corrected everything in red pen.
But, The Blocke is a terrible thing. Imagine, if you will, that you are good at something. No - I mean REALLY good at it. Not just "better than average," or "passable," I mean so good at something that you really cannot imagine that it would not be a part of your daily life. Yeah, you're THAT good at it - and on top of that, you're THRILLED by the concept that this thing would be in your life all the time. It can be anything at all, from playing sports to brushing your teeth (although that's just a bit scary). And then, one day, you are ready to do your favorite thing, only to discover that you have NO IDEA how to do it. That is The Blocke. Only, it's not that you don't remember how-you just....can't, and the harder you try, the harder it is. Not only that, but you KNOW you're good at it, and you KNOW you love it. You also KNOW that right now, it's the most horribly nasty thing that can happen to you and no matter what you do it's not going to be helping a damned thing so you might as well just write any old thing that pops into your head and who cares it's a run-on sentence that sounds more like the drivel spouted by a teen-aged girl who is breaking up with her boyfriend for the seventeenth time this week. Yeah, it's also that annoying.
But my friend wrote a very interesting little list of all the things to NOT write about when you are in The Blocke, including writing about The Blocke. Why does she say this? Because, the world at large does not care about anyone who is experiencing The Blocke, nor is it interested in hearing about your particular struggles with it, etc - because it's also a very, very personal thing, and let's face it - the public in general has no interest in hearing about the writer's personal problems. No, the world wants to be entertained, and that is a writer's job. Whether you're writing for a news source, or a personal blog, or Saturday Night Live, the object is to make it just entertaining enough to get people to continue to read while still be informative....or just plain making them spit their coffee all over their computer screen.
And to get through The Blocke, we have writing prompts. These are nothing more than ideas to try and get the creative juices of writing moving again. And I hate them. Oh, it's not that they're bad, or wrong, or anything at all - I just find them annoying, and I've finally come to the conclusion of WHY I find them so annoying: They all have to do with "I," because they all seem to start with getting in touch with the inner self: "Write about your worst day at school," "Write about a time when someone you love did something nice for you," or "You're walking down the street and happen upon a package containing $1,000. What do you do?" Really???? Are they serious? There are lists of these things, and people who get paid to come up with these lists...all for what? To help writers get over something that cannot be specifically defined or understood? I mean, what is this, the dark ages? Why don't we just pull the leeches out of retirement for medicine, or start treating people for "vapors" again? This is preposterous.
I'm not going to claim that I have the missing answer, one-size-fits-all magical snake oil that can "cure" The Blocke - that's silly. The problem is that every writer is different. Some may go bowling. Some may drink like a fish, since it worked for Hemingway. Some might listen to music - there are as many ways to get through The Blocke as there are writers who are busy doing it. I've experienced The Blocke many times before, and the only thing that I know works for me is busying my mind with things that do not involve writing, and putting myself in places where I feel inspired. Because nobody cares about what you would do with that $1,000, anyway - least of all, you. You're busy living in The Blocke.
Oh yes, I know that Writer's Block is not spelled with the extra "e' on the end. Even the British wouldn't do something as trivial as that, and I'm pretty sure that they invented the extra "e" on the end of things, just to make English a harder language to understand. No, no - I put the "e" on the end because I want to, because it makes me smile, and because I often type the letter "e" on the end of a whole bunch of words, only to realize that it never belongs there, looks stupid, and makes anything I type look like a a teacher told her third-grade class to re-type a book of Kantian ethics from memory, and then went and corrected everything in red pen.
But, The Blocke is a terrible thing. Imagine, if you will, that you are good at something. No - I mean REALLY good at it. Not just "better than average," or "passable," I mean so good at something that you really cannot imagine that it would not be a part of your daily life. Yeah, you're THAT good at it - and on top of that, you're THRILLED by the concept that this thing would be in your life all the time. It can be anything at all, from playing sports to brushing your teeth (although that's just a bit scary). And then, one day, you are ready to do your favorite thing, only to discover that you have NO IDEA how to do it. That is The Blocke. Only, it's not that you don't remember how-you just....can't, and the harder you try, the harder it is. Not only that, but you KNOW you're good at it, and you KNOW you love it. You also KNOW that right now, it's the most horribly nasty thing that can happen to you and no matter what you do it's not going to be helping a damned thing so you might as well just write any old thing that pops into your head and who cares it's a run-on sentence that sounds more like the drivel spouted by a teen-aged girl who is breaking up with her boyfriend for the seventeenth time this week. Yeah, it's also that annoying.
But my friend wrote a very interesting little list of all the things to NOT write about when you are in The Blocke, including writing about The Blocke. Why does she say this? Because, the world at large does not care about anyone who is experiencing The Blocke, nor is it interested in hearing about your particular struggles with it, etc - because it's also a very, very personal thing, and let's face it - the public in general has no interest in hearing about the writer's personal problems. No, the world wants to be entertained, and that is a writer's job. Whether you're writing for a news source, or a personal blog, or Saturday Night Live, the object is to make it just entertaining enough to get people to continue to read while still be informative....or just plain making them spit their coffee all over their computer screen.
And to get through The Blocke, we have writing prompts. These are nothing more than ideas to try and get the creative juices of writing moving again. And I hate them. Oh, it's not that they're bad, or wrong, or anything at all - I just find them annoying, and I've finally come to the conclusion of WHY I find them so annoying: They all have to do with "I," because they all seem to start with getting in touch with the inner self: "Write about your worst day at school," "Write about a time when someone you love did something nice for you," or "You're walking down the street and happen upon a package containing $1,000. What do you do?" Really???? Are they serious? There are lists of these things, and people who get paid to come up with these lists...all for what? To help writers get over something that cannot be specifically defined or understood? I mean, what is this, the dark ages? Why don't we just pull the leeches out of retirement for medicine, or start treating people for "vapors" again? This is preposterous.
I'm not going to claim that I have the missing answer, one-size-fits-all magical snake oil that can "cure" The Blocke - that's silly. The problem is that every writer is different. Some may go bowling. Some may drink like a fish, since it worked for Hemingway. Some might listen to music - there are as many ways to get through The Blocke as there are writers who are busy doing it. I've experienced The Blocke many times before, and the only thing that I know works for me is busying my mind with things that do not involve writing, and putting myself in places where I feel inspired. Because nobody cares about what you would do with that $1,000, anyway - least of all, you. You're busy living in The Blocke.
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